My LIFE as it is nearing its 40th

Once again, my birthday is fast approaching. Last year, I celebrated this at a native restobar in a luau inspired party. We had mixed drinks, reggae music, big pillows, a native hut to shelter us and of course, finger foods that were outrageously perfect for the occasion. I just invited my closest friends, and you are rite, it was such a sweet memory to cherish.

Now that another year has passed, I have gained more friends, ditched a few and remained in contact with the old ones. I really dont have plans yet for the BIG 40, but then, that comes a week after my son's birthday, so I was thinking i should get ahead and plan anyway for both events. Well, for Zach, I already bought him a Pokemon Diamond game for his DS ( Thanks to Jovicar Juntilla, Jayjay Dales and Rowena Dayao for sharing to buy this gift). So, I shouldnt be bothered by what to give...but then as a Mom, we always want to give him the best for his bday, and this time he is asking for a remote controlled helicopter. Actually, his godfather already gave him one last Xmas, but he just broke it in one day, yes, ONE DAY! As soon as I arrived at the airport, he hurriedly opened the box, played with it, crashed it a hundred times, and come dinner time, it doesnt fly anymore. Thought it just needed a battery change, but I already bought a lot of replacements, yet it wouldnt even nudge...so thats the history of his helicopter, given and died the same day! So, thats not an option as a gift for now. I was thinking of having a date with him, just like what we did last Saturday.

I had an overtime at work last Saturday and Zach tagged along, after 5pm, we went to the mall for some refreshments. We then decided to watch "Eclipse". Called Kikiw and at 635 we were inside the moviehouse with shakes and a big bucket of popcorn. That was a sweet time for both me and my son, as we were huddled together the entire time while watching the movie. Afterwards, we had dinner at Sunburst which just had their launching. Sunburst is one of dad's favorite chicken restaurant, so it was nostalgic just being inside it. So for me, I'd rather have that time repeated than hold a party for him and for people who just see him every birthday of his. Aint I right?

Now comes the hard part, what am I going to do on my birthday? I have around 20 friends as constant company whenever I go out, should I hold a party for them or just treat it as another "Fly day" and just prepare something special like my favorite food to go with the usual drinks we have. Whaddayathink?

But what is really important that is going to happen on my 40th? Wow, couldnt really fathom the importance, but I think Im getting my way around it now. Have I achieved enough to make myself proud being 40? What have I contributed to my son, to my family, my community and to the world? Did I even do something relevant? Are the people around me enough testimonies of the kind of life I have lived? Have I been a blessing to others? Is my life worth reliving all over again? What traits need to be changed and what values need to be added? Is my 40th birthday a real BIG one?

As I am nearing my 40th, Im beginning to have goosebumps....afraid of the unknown, yet curious enough to trod the road not taken. I am nearing my 40th, and despite the anxiety of finally hitting the BIG FOUR, I am proud to be in that roll. Yes, Im nearing my 40th birthday, and I am blessed to have reached this far...