ONE's WORTH is ONE's LIFE

I have a weakness which I cant get rid of...and that of being a sucker for friends...time and again, I am duped, betrayed, misunderstood and mislabeled...I dont really know exactly how I have managed so far...life is just a circus, clowns are coming in with either a sad face or a happy one, and sometimes it takes a while before I see whats beneath the mask...and then i see nothing..

I believe every person has a purpose, some are born from royalty, some become great leaders, some become notoriously famous, others are just born. I think I was born to be this way, a sucker :-( I have few friends I do really keep as my true friends...others for me are just acquaintances, mates who you go along with your journey, but I only keep a few that i will always treasure...these are people I care about and I pray for every night. Sometimes when you are alone in your journey, away from family, you look over your shoulder and you see your friends close by...then you begin to think that they have become your family and then life becomes about them..and when it is about them, you want to build more memories with them, catching every sight of good ones...and not letting go..

I want to believe that I take risks when it comes to friends...I lay down my cards early on, thats why some of them have taken the steps to be ahead of me in the game..and then take me on for my lapses. When a friend throws a ball onto you full of hateful words, it catches you off guard, wondering why it has not been said through the years of friendship...then you realize, was the ball thrown for the purpose of correcting you or is it their defense to hide their flaws? I know myself, I lead, I plan, I create, I teach, I spend, I complain, because no one else does...I try to make my friends run in the same circle, to be one..and I think I have succeeded in that because most of my friends from all walks of life know or somehow has an idea of one another...I lay my life open to people, why? That 3 letter word has been hovering my head for days now? WHY? WHY? WHY? And then I ask again, Why not? Is the person's worth measured by the many laughs you get from friends? Is someone's character based on how much you can shut up on difficult situations? Is a person gauged by the power she/he has over his/her friends? How is one judged to be a good friend? Is it by the number of "friends" you have? Or is it by the numerous invitations you get on weekends? Are there really people who just look up to you because they need you and hates your guts when they have been fully trained by you. If people you have taken with your journey refuses in the middle of the road, then is it about time to take separate roads? Should friends cheer for each other's success and not compete? How is one's worth seen? Isnt it by the life he/she lives???

I have contained the pain for so long just so no balls are thrown....but if someone calls me selfish, bossy, dominant,manipulative then what are you? I do not make a promise I cant fulfill, I dont borrow money I cant pay, I dont make others wait, I dont hassle anyone's time without compensating, I dont spoil anyone's night, I dont go as freeloader and most of all I dont say things I dont mean.

For crying out loud, I am proud of who I am and proud to know my worth because truthfully, I am a sucker who just wants to have friends and be a friend to them. It is all about FRIENDSHIP, not FRIGGIN SHIT!

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Song dedication: To my other BFF Faye Go

Best Friend by Brandy

Whenever I'm down
I call on you my friend
A helping hand you lend
In my time of need
So, I'm calling you now
Just to make it good
What else can I do
For you hear my plea
Friends may come and friends may go
But you should know
That I've got your back
It's automatic
So never hesitate to call
Cause I'm your sister
And always for you
In love
Whenever I'm down
With all that's going on
Is really going on
Just one of those days
And you
Say the right things
To keep me moving on
To keep me going strong
What else can I say?
Friends are there through thick and thin
And I've been told that
And I believe that
It's automatic
Call me when you need a friend
Cause I'm your sister
And always know that
I'll be there for you
When you're going through
Things that you need me
You're close to me
My friend
You can count on me
Call me when you need me
Or can't take it anymore,
I don't know what I'd ever do without you
>From the beginning to the end
You've always been here right beside me
So I'll call you my best friend
Through the good times and the bad ones
Whether I lose or if I win
I know one thing that never changes
And that's you as my friend! :)

Love you always Manang!

Song dedication: To my BFF Angie Regalado

Kind & Generous by Natalie Merchant

You've been so kind and generous
I don't know how you keep on giving
For your kindness I'm in debt to you
For your selflessness, my admiration
And for everything you've done

You know I'm bound...
I'm bound to thank you for it

You've been so kind and generous
I don't know how you keep on giving
For your kindness I'm in debt to you
And I never could have come this far without you
So for everything you've done

You know I'm bound...
I'm bound to thank you for it

I want to thank you
For so many gifts
You gave with love and tenderness
I want to thank you

I want to thank you
For your generosity
The love and the honesty
That you gave me

I want to thank you
Show my gratitude
My love and my respect for you
I want to thank you

I want to...

Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you


I love u OA!!!

Letters: Notes from Zach

Notes from my dear son Zach over the years....

Letters: Short note to Angie Regalado

Thanks OA for your never-ending support. Thanks for loving me and for taking care of me now and always....I will love and cherish you FOREVER!!!

Busted Halo » Features » 25 Great Things You Can Do For Lent

Busted Halo » Features » 25 Great Things You Can Do For Lent