My birthday is coming so soooooon…and Im a year older again…OUCH! But Im so BLESSED, so why complain? I have so many friends around me that even if I don’t get to see most of them often, I know in their hearts, they care for me…So, let me have this chance to thank those people who have been my inspiration all through these years…( this is in random ok?)
1. Faye ( since 2002)– She knows what I need…she helps me get through it all, and eventhough she’s already in Canada now, she has still proven to be my bestfriend…keep the $$$ coming…hehehe
2. Angie (since 2002)– We argue a lot, over a lot of things…and we insult each other a lot, tease each other no end, but Im strong in this little island of Dumaguete because of her..
3. YL family, Jumawan sisters, Lyssa Pastor, Ate Nena, Kuya Noel, Yasi brothers and the rest (since 1984)– they have molded solid my faith, we’ve learned together the word of God in style…I have my values and convictions firm because of them…
4. Lifeline friends (since 2002)– Grace, Gerard, Hannah, Arn arn, Gilbert, Myla, Pitchina, Kelly, Coreen, Andy, Roma, Yenyen and the rest – you were my first set of friends here…you made my life easier
5. Radio people (since 1991)– Macoy, Aimee, Candice, Alberca sisters, Yenyen, Baktoy, 523, 562, 602, 515 group – those years that I was fleeting, you were there to cheer me up…
6. STC ’86 (since 1982)– I have not seen most of them for over 20 years now, yet the fun we had in high school lasts a lifetime…I wish them all the luck..
7. Chacha and Cecile (since 1986)– 2 of my batchmates who were closest to me – both of them so beautiful, so charming, so much appreciated until now. I wont forget you, and all the beautiful memories I had with you. Hoping to see you soon.
8. Pinky, Kirk, Abe, Danny, Leny, Regine, Lalay, Gemma (since 2005)– I can call on them when I need things done fast…and they are loyal too.
9. ALFA family (since 2005)– you are my family now, thanks for believing in me. They are not only my colleagues and bosses, but my friends too..esp mention to Maya, Beth, Ms. AZG, Derek, Nice, Ms. Juliet, Ms. Belen, Ms. Hermie, Sir Mike, Sir Johnny, Karl, Sonny, Ms. Geney, Sir Gilbert, Ruby and the other BSAs Ive met thru this company..
10. USC friends (since 1986)– Rachel, Mayette, Nanath, Juvy, Kim, Chona, Ledge people, Canteen people, basketball people, ABC, Bukid – My college life was the best life next to highschool because of these people..
11. Bulacan people (since forever)– my friends and relatives there…I enjoyed every vacation I spent with you guys
12. SLI (since 1994)– Joyce, Tata, Shirlene, Dan, Wilbec, Ingrid, Suzette, Jill, Phoebe, Windy, Ichu, Suzette, Janet, Marcia, Mamang, Abegail, Mina, Rina, Toni, Philip, Sir Rey, Gary, Rolly, the Tatays, officers, sanitary aids, messmen, the rest of the crew – this was my best job ever…fun, fun, fun!
13. Basyong, Jerome, Philip ( one after the other, I guess)– the 3 guys I have loved….thanks for the memories..
14. My sisters – they are strong women, we can triumph every trial, we can survive any tragedy, we are one in times of tears and joy.
15. Dra. Go (since 1992)– you know I care for you, you just have to dig deeper in your heart.
16. Conching, Linli, Nora, Judyville neighbors (since 2006)– thanks for being there when I need help for my house, and for inviting me to your houses when I have nothing to eat…lol
17. Sir Jonathan (since 1994)– my former boss and still my friend., for 14 years now
18. Kristine (since 2005)– thanks for laughing at my jokes mam, and for listening when I need to vent out my frustrations about our work.
19. Flores family (since 1992)– they have my respect, I know they consider me part of the family and I really appreciate that.
20. Boyet and Badong – my 2 brothers, I care for them, I hope they care for themselves.
21. My nieces and nephews – they make me appreciate my father the more…I love them all.
22. The friends I met thru work, vacation, night outs – the other group in bulacan like reymand, jeoff, etc…it was great going out of towns with you…
23. Bill – you always have that soft spot for me, and I thank you for always understanding me my friend.
24. Garrett – you just know what to say to me that can make me giggle. You have to be good and make good in your life because you are so talented and so intelligent. Don’t waste it.
25. Ken, Gary, Mark – wherever you are now, I wish you’ll find your true loves…my web friends
26. My shortlived romances – Dodo, Tonerette, Lou, the others I have forgotten the names ( bad jubang!) – thanks for the sweet kisses…
27. Jake - who loved my son so true, and who was loved by so many. May your soul rest in peace.
28. Baseline boys – Allan and the Climaco brothers, Randy, Dodoy, Mutuc..etc.. – the highlight of my teenlife was with them….life with them was always free…free disco, free food, free ride…lol
29. Roxanne – how could I forget our sleep overs at the station you worked for before? You were a great friend and until now, you are still one.
30. Len-len – Shes my sticker mate. My bestfriend in YL, my sister in faith.
31. Timmy and Nathan – my buddies in YL, the reason I enjoyed every camp and every club meetings…they keep my feet on the gound all the time.
32. Yman and Ping – my best friends, my red Horse buddies…Thanks for always making me laugh.
33. Marilyn – my very best friend in SLI, she has put up a lot because of me…and I really love her for that…
34. Nana Juling, Ate Azon, Mamang Peping – they have kept me under their care when I was schooling in Manila…thanks for all your caring hands..
35. Johannes, Mabel, Jovicar – new friends that as early as now are already appreciated.
36. My mom – who has gone thru a lot of pain and worry because of her children. Mom, we are all grown up, you don’t have to do that anymore…
37. My father – my greatest hero, I am what I am today because of what he taught me. Be nice to your fellowman, be kind, be generous, be helpful…the reward is in heaven…wait for me there Dad
38. And lastly, my son Zach – he has never fallen short of love for me, as we always say to each other, we love each other to the moon and back…
These people are my greatest treasures, and the best reasons that I am thankful for my 38 years of existence….because without them, life would be very scary and incredibly boring. I love you guys!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
To HELL with JERKS!
Until recently, I had a very close sidekick friend that I love. We spent a ton of time together doing all sorts of things – golf ( as in gulp! gulp! gulp!, over GSM and david cook and Jason mraz songs) job hunting, going on a trip together ( to Cebu, 2x). Jerk was one of the first people I go to when Im down and sad and was one of the first people to see the smile on my face, too. He is a lot younger than I am, just half of my age…and he is GAY!
About 2 years ago, he showed up to my office and applied for work. Since we didn’t need any additional manpower at work, I hired him to nanny my kid and my 2 nieces who were vacationing at that time. He spent the entire summer with me helping around the house. Aside from contributing much in the upkeep of m house, he became my confidante. He became an extension of my family that whatever he goes through, I get affected too. So the friendship was developed…
Unsurprisingly, over the last year, our friendship has gone through a lot. Mostly, we would brainstorm to find ways to put him to school permanently…and in those times, I have never been short in helping him out in financial matters. But eventhough we are that close, I still uphold my principles over money. If you owe me, you must pay me even if that’s a single cent only…but if I give money even if that’s 1M ( as if I can afford, figure of speech only darling!) that’s a gift I will NEVER ask back.
At first, this really upset me, and for a time I made a concerted effort to understand him. But I found that my perspective had changed a lot over the past several months – or should I say that familiarity already bred contempt on my side. It was ok for me that he borrows things from me, and that is usually the case when he sleeps over my house. But recently, I have noticed that he had borrowed lots and not returning them. Or sometimes he would get my stuff without telling me, I will just find out about it when I come looking for it. It bothered me a lot. Aside from not paying back the money he owes me ( well, he did pay me now….after I raised HELL!) he never made an effort to return my stuff when I needed them. ( again, he already returned them….and again after I raised WWIII)
The sad part was, when returned my stuff ( how about my shades jerk? And the towel? And the….should I name them all???) including the gifts I gave him as tokens of my friendship…. the bling blings I bought when I traveled and specifically bought it for him…yes, he returned them…so what should I think about it? Is it a sign of severing complete ties with me? I thought so! And that hurt me a lot! I only asked for things that he borrowed---the money and some stuff, but NEVER the gifts!!! I haven’t heard from Jerk since.
What did I realize? I used to have a friend, now HE IS GONE….and I want it to remain that way. I will not go after you, nor the friendship that you just wasted….Even more, a real friendship will survive any such change in philosophy. But when you returned those stuff I didn’t ask, I will let the friendship die and fade with it…
Im not worried about you ending the friendship because you’ve made choices to improve your life, ask yourself if the people around you now are your real friends. Ask yourself if they will come up to you the minute you need them. ASK YOURSELF, because YOU CANT ASK ME ANYMORE!
About 2 years ago, he showed up to my office and applied for work. Since we didn’t need any additional manpower at work, I hired him to nanny my kid and my 2 nieces who were vacationing at that time. He spent the entire summer with me helping around the house. Aside from contributing much in the upkeep of m house, he became my confidante. He became an extension of my family that whatever he goes through, I get affected too. So the friendship was developed…
Unsurprisingly, over the last year, our friendship has gone through a lot. Mostly, we would brainstorm to find ways to put him to school permanently…and in those times, I have never been short in helping him out in financial matters. But eventhough we are that close, I still uphold my principles over money. If you owe me, you must pay me even if that’s a single cent only…but if I give money even if that’s 1M ( as if I can afford, figure of speech only darling!) that’s a gift I will NEVER ask back.
At first, this really upset me, and for a time I made a concerted effort to understand him. But I found that my perspective had changed a lot over the past several months – or should I say that familiarity already bred contempt on my side. It was ok for me that he borrows things from me, and that is usually the case when he sleeps over my house. But recently, I have noticed that he had borrowed lots and not returning them. Or sometimes he would get my stuff without telling me, I will just find out about it when I come looking for it. It bothered me a lot. Aside from not paying back the money he owes me ( well, he did pay me now….after I raised HELL!) he never made an effort to return my stuff when I needed them. ( again, he already returned them….and again after I raised WWIII)
The sad part was, when returned my stuff ( how about my shades jerk? And the towel? And the….should I name them all???) including the gifts I gave him as tokens of my friendship…. the bling blings I bought when I traveled and specifically bought it for him…yes, he returned them…so what should I think about it? Is it a sign of severing complete ties with me? I thought so! And that hurt me a lot! I only asked for things that he borrowed---the money and some stuff, but NEVER the gifts!!! I haven’t heard from Jerk since.
What did I realize? I used to have a friend, now HE IS GONE….and I want it to remain that way. I will not go after you, nor the friendship that you just wasted….Even more, a real friendship will survive any such change in philosophy. But when you returned those stuff I didn’t ask, I will let the friendship die and fade with it…
Im not worried about you ending the friendship because you’ve made choices to improve your life, ask yourself if the people around you now are your real friends. Ask yourself if they will come up to you the minute you need them. ASK YOURSELF, because YOU CANT ASK ME ANYMORE!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Break Ups
You cannot finish the book of life,
without closing it's chapters.
If you want to go on...
then you have to leave the past
as you turn the pages.(Pravs World)
Break ups
Ending a relationship is not easy – especially if it’s not your choice. Misery replaces all good memories once the relationship ends, because, at the very least, you have lost the emotional investment you made in that relationship. All feelings of failure, hopelessness, loss, despair, and desperation creeps their way in. In most cases, the length of the relationship compounds the pain of loss – a break up after half a lifetime together can seem like the end of the world. It feels like a part of you has been taken away, the eerie feeling of having one limb severed, or things that seem too normal may now be very difficult like shopping, watching movies or eating out because part of those routines are part of the memories with the ex-partner…Sigh!
Whatever the reason for a breakup, coping can be a challenge, because even a disappointing relationship starts out with an emotional investment. Serious relationships begin on a high note of excitement and hope for the future. Couples invest time, energy, plans, dreams and hope for the future in love relationships. When these relationships fail, profound disappointment is experienced.
Every loss is always painful, especially lost relationships over death, over misunderstandings, over distance…but life is designed and molded from a web of uncertainty…Life is already difficult than it should be, what more with relationships when you have to make both wavelengths of emotions and thinking meet at certain level…
There’s no such thing as right way of coping but there are some helpful tips…and overtime, the pain just go away....memories fade and grief subsides..
For whatever its worth, I would still like to take the challenge of loving and losing than not feel it at all…so BRING IT ON!
without closing it's chapters.
If you want to go on...
then you have to leave the past
as you turn the pages.(Pravs World)
Break ups
Ending a relationship is not easy – especially if it’s not your choice. Misery replaces all good memories once the relationship ends, because, at the very least, you have lost the emotional investment you made in that relationship. All feelings of failure, hopelessness, loss, despair, and desperation creeps their way in. In most cases, the length of the relationship compounds the pain of loss – a break up after half a lifetime together can seem like the end of the world. It feels like a part of you has been taken away, the eerie feeling of having one limb severed, or things that seem too normal may now be very difficult like shopping, watching movies or eating out because part of those routines are part of the memories with the ex-partner…Sigh!
Whatever the reason for a breakup, coping can be a challenge, because even a disappointing relationship starts out with an emotional investment. Serious relationships begin on a high note of excitement and hope for the future. Couples invest time, energy, plans, dreams and hope for the future in love relationships. When these relationships fail, profound disappointment is experienced.
Every loss is always painful, especially lost relationships over death, over misunderstandings, over distance…but life is designed and molded from a web of uncertainty…Life is already difficult than it should be, what more with relationships when you have to make both wavelengths of emotions and thinking meet at certain level…
There’s no such thing as right way of coping but there are some helpful tips…and overtime, the pain just go away....memories fade and grief subsides..
For whatever its worth, I would still like to take the challenge of loving and losing than not feel it at all…so BRING IT ON!
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Friends...for better or for worse
With Anet, since 1992
With Kristine, since 2005
With Rachel, since 1986
With Kristine, since 2005
With Rachel, since 1986
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Is Friendship just a thought?
I have taken steps to invite and support real friendships for some people who live with what they call their personal abnormalities. Although I don’t see the way she sees it, she would prefer to move along without accepting my offer, and I know deep in her heart she is struggling with isolation. The human nature is to be judgmental and that’s the flow of play, so sympathy and affection may seem out of reach, and she’s worried about the possibility of a life-long pattern of separateness from her friends, but she is the one alienating herself from others who she thinks imposes a threat to her “abnormality”. So what can I do?
To begin, I’m not sure that I really know anything about making friends and being a good one. How can I be sure now when the one I want to be my friend wont accept me as one? The older I get, the more I think that making friends start by discovering each other. Then if we're lucky, we pay attention, we stay faithful, and just hope we don't mess up, then we have a friend for life. But that is not always the case. Sometimes we just meet people by chance, somewhere, at only one time….though first impressions could be the basis to continue friendships, yet communication is not constant and limited. I would say, I am someone who try to abridge gaps with my far away friends thru communications…so I really keep in contact with people I don’t get to see often, even thru SMS, landline, letters, the web or even to the extent of visiting the people I sorely miss wherever they may be…
I hope that people who deny to live with their “abnormalities” really examine themselves and ask if being in that position of refusing the entry of other people to their lives will help them receive the blessings of friendship. As we seek that blessing, it may be useful to examine how the ordinary patterns of discovery and friendship work, and see if we can follow those patterns, but perhaps in a way that is more focused and intentional. As the GOLDEN RULE states: “Do not do unto others what you don’t want others do unto you.”
How did our most important friendships come into being? Where were we when we discovered each other? Among the dozens, hundreds, even thousands of people we've met in our lifetime, how is it that some of us are still friends after all these years? And why some too good friends you have enjoyed the company with leave too soon? Friendship doesn’t have much of a chance if only one person is trying hard to keep it. It will get lost in the web of confusion and hurt…so yes, friendship will not get a chance.
I was there at one place on one good night where it was planned to be really good, with people I was already close with, wanted to be close with and one that is yet to meet. We were close-packed that night. Laughter was the proof of enjoyment. It was, after all, a visit that was most welcome. We felt young, was groovy, enjoyed the food and we loved the same music. But nobody from that night has really seen the real me. In fact, they only have seen the other side of me the next morning. What I’m trying to say is that we can spend a lifetime going from one ‘activity’ to another with different people and still be alone the next day to tackle the real person that you are (and for the rest of our lives). Because oftentimes, we act different roles to different personalities. I am spoiled to some people, but I’m the underdog on some…so its basically the way of life…and friendships are meant that way too, there are friendships that are just temporary because you work for the same company, or live at the same place, or go to same activity…but only few people are counted to be your BFF…through thick and thin….indefinitely!
If we think about it, we see that one basic condition for the development of friendship (love-at-first-sight being a wonderful possible exception) is that we keep going back to the same place over time. Meaning if we share something that we both enjoy and do often, that’s how friendships are developed ( same with other relationships)…because those are the way to build memories, and memories are etched in the heart not on wood. So in my case, I think the memories are not yet enough to call it a good friendship, or she may have taken it as part of her bad memories…I really don’t know!
The edges are always there: times when we’re arriving and departing, waiting for the first notes to sound from the organ, coffee after the service. But if you are shy or don’t know how to ‘make time’ in those brief moments, you still might miss the boat. Friendship just like any other relationships is also a give and take situation…And both should commit to be active…But if one wont, or too selfish to open herself up, then it will never work, with ANYONE!
We know that friendship goes far beyond simple attraction and ‘hanging out’. It’s far more complex. Once we discover each other, we still need to pay attention, deepen the invitation, and be good to each other. Friendship is a gift, but once we open the gift, we need to be ‘on purpose’ if friendship is to endure. Friendship is a discovery, not a requirement, and it helps to remember the value of small beginnings. At the outset, we’re not asking for a lifetime commitment.
We can only offer much, we can only be patient too long…but humiliation is an insult and that’s not an ingredient to good friendships…So its best that I let go, Im not saying good riddance…I will just be here…and if the time comes that you are ready to accept me as a TRUE friend, you know how to reach me..
To begin, I’m not sure that I really know anything about making friends and being a good one. How can I be sure now when the one I want to be my friend wont accept me as one? The older I get, the more I think that making friends start by discovering each other. Then if we're lucky, we pay attention, we stay faithful, and just hope we don't mess up, then we have a friend for life. But that is not always the case. Sometimes we just meet people by chance, somewhere, at only one time….though first impressions could be the basis to continue friendships, yet communication is not constant and limited. I would say, I am someone who try to abridge gaps with my far away friends thru communications…so I really keep in contact with people I don’t get to see often, even thru SMS, landline, letters, the web or even to the extent of visiting the people I sorely miss wherever they may be…
I hope that people who deny to live with their “abnormalities” really examine themselves and ask if being in that position of refusing the entry of other people to their lives will help them receive the blessings of friendship. As we seek that blessing, it may be useful to examine how the ordinary patterns of discovery and friendship work, and see if we can follow those patterns, but perhaps in a way that is more focused and intentional. As the GOLDEN RULE states: “Do not do unto others what you don’t want others do unto you.”
How did our most important friendships come into being? Where were we when we discovered each other? Among the dozens, hundreds, even thousands of people we've met in our lifetime, how is it that some of us are still friends after all these years? And why some too good friends you have enjoyed the company with leave too soon? Friendship doesn’t have much of a chance if only one person is trying hard to keep it. It will get lost in the web of confusion and hurt…so yes, friendship will not get a chance.
I was there at one place on one good night where it was planned to be really good, with people I was already close with, wanted to be close with and one that is yet to meet. We were close-packed that night. Laughter was the proof of enjoyment. It was, after all, a visit that was most welcome. We felt young, was groovy, enjoyed the food and we loved the same music. But nobody from that night has really seen the real me. In fact, they only have seen the other side of me the next morning. What I’m trying to say is that we can spend a lifetime going from one ‘activity’ to another with different people and still be alone the next day to tackle the real person that you are (and for the rest of our lives). Because oftentimes, we act different roles to different personalities. I am spoiled to some people, but I’m the underdog on some…so its basically the way of life…and friendships are meant that way too, there are friendships that are just temporary because you work for the same company, or live at the same place, or go to same activity…but only few people are counted to be your BFF…through thick and thin….indefinitely!
If we think about it, we see that one basic condition for the development of friendship (love-at-first-sight being a wonderful possible exception) is that we keep going back to the same place over time. Meaning if we share something that we both enjoy and do often, that’s how friendships are developed ( same with other relationships)…because those are the way to build memories, and memories are etched in the heart not on wood. So in my case, I think the memories are not yet enough to call it a good friendship, or she may have taken it as part of her bad memories…I really don’t know!
The edges are always there: times when we’re arriving and departing, waiting for the first notes to sound from the organ, coffee after the service. But if you are shy or don’t know how to ‘make time’ in those brief moments, you still might miss the boat. Friendship just like any other relationships is also a give and take situation…And both should commit to be active…But if one wont, or too selfish to open herself up, then it will never work, with ANYONE!
We know that friendship goes far beyond simple attraction and ‘hanging out’. It’s far more complex. Once we discover each other, we still need to pay attention, deepen the invitation, and be good to each other. Friendship is a gift, but once we open the gift, we need to be ‘on purpose’ if friendship is to endure. Friendship is a discovery, not a requirement, and it helps to remember the value of small beginnings. At the outset, we’re not asking for a lifetime commitment.
We can only offer much, we can only be patient too long…but humiliation is an insult and that’s not an ingredient to good friendships…So its best that I let go, Im not saying good riddance…I will just be here…and if the time comes that you are ready to accept me as a TRUE friend, you know how to reach me..
Thursday, July 3, 2008
are we really friends?
Just seasonal friends?
just friends for nothing?
are u really my friend?
is there a chance for the friendship?
is this the last time?
just friends for nothing?
are u really my friend?
is there a chance for the friendship?
is this the last time?
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