Sexuality - is it just a CONCEPT?

These thoughts have been on my mind for days, so I better write it down.... I love LIFe and I love to have FUN, so in the years of my existence (hmmm...28 as of last count? haha)I have met all breed (whattaterm!) of people. I was once had a group of friends who were addicted to Nubain, friends whose jobs or morals are questionable and friends whose gender preference are on the third plane. All the same, they matter to me not because of their stature in life, but because of how they treat me as a person. So why do these people tick? These people have their own right to be special even if society would label them as otherwise. Addicts are people who are going through a lot of pain and what they need is not judgmental looks but a caring heart. Those people who live in immorality and who take odd jobs are struggling, they do this out of blinded love and hardship respectively, so we must understand them all the more. For those people who go for same sex relationships or who prefers to deviate from what the norm is, they are still PEOPLE - they are not aliens that we should fear. They have the same anatomy as we do 'STRAIGHT' people have - same with addicts and red district people. We are all humans, we are all capable of sinning...all of US! It doesnt make them less of a person if they chose what they did on their lives. Seriously simple. Speaking for myself, I have always constant encounters with gay people - they make me laugh, their talents are better than mine (if we should count what is expected from a woman) and they are so much FUN to be with! Only very recently that I've had the chance to see the other side of the fence up close and personal- and that is the "LES" world. I am sorry for the label, but I dont know how to emphasize my point the other way. As I got to know not only one but a bunch of them at once, they have opened a new door for me to view and that is how they live! That they are capable of so much love, capable of getting hurt and capable of LIVING! It gave me a realization that indeed we are just EQUALS - they can be better at one thing and inferior on the other - nothing more nothing less. I seem to have forgotten that in some areas of their lives they struggle more as compared to "straight" people. If acceptance is readily available, this blog would have not been conceived in the first place. Take for example in getting into relationship, a lisbo have "MEN" as rivals - if a girl is not leaning towards widening her horizon - she would go for the male and not for the lisbo. Have you noticed that for the 3rd sex, love is usually equated with money? If we see a a gay couple, we always have that question in our mind on how they were able to hook up? The malice thought linger and then we judge them, not until we get to know them and understand the situation they are in. But how soon do we befriend them each time we see one? Now who can say that we are better than them? Depiction of these people in the society convey that at large they have been simultaneously in collusion and threatened by the dispute of gender roles, and the society are either fascinated or appalled with women who are romantically involved with other women. Women who assume a "third sex" identity witness actuality that form an outlook relative to an ethnic or olden tribe: as who they are, they are bonded by the scrutiny and potential rejection they constantly face from their families, friends, and the society as a whole. Discrimination is felt in the work environment, political arena and even in the inner circle of the family. Why? Because our hypocrite life led us to form that CONCEPT - and remains so because the society tell us so. These are hard words to write because each word pinches the guilt out of me. Guilt of not seeing it earlier, and guilt of being one of the rest of the society to have formed that CONCEPT! I want to acknowledge my friends for who they really are, straight or not. I dont want to be foundering in the torrent of their change nor give myself a right to resist it. As Ive said earlier, we are all humans and we are all EQUALS - whatever their sex preference is, they still deserve to be HAPPY..and acceptance is one of the keys. I salute them for their courage to come out and stand for what they believe in, they are not just the THIRD sex, but I think they are the BRAVEST of us all. Now, who are you to judge them? Think again! "One thing is clear to me, we, as human beings, must be willing to accept people who are different from ourselves." --- Barbara Jordan

God's Promise + Waterway

She is named after a waterway with a local tongue reference to spirit, soul or thought. She is petite in height but not so in built. :-) She is funny and reserved at the same time. Easy to converse with yet full of tact. Childish yet responsible. Pretty yet very simple. Her first name is a variant of the Hebrew name Elizabeth which means "God's promise" and indeed she is!

She is someone that you can pour your heart out to yet still have that secured feeling that your privacy was not invaded. She is a type of a friend who would tell you head on the gist of the matter, without if's and but's yet would tackle the issue with you. She is generous with her appreciation and with her laughter. She could rant a mile in a second and be fine in the next hour. She is 'away' when she is not, and really "offline" when she is not supposed to be. My pet names for her are "girl" and "ganda", seldom do I call her by her waterway name unless in the formal chatroom. Consider yourself a very lucky person if you get a reply for SMS sent, and extremely blessed one if she picks up when you call....Oh well, I have been lucky a few times.... She is an avid fan of Silvannas....the reason I gave her two boxes and only one to others... She is a bed hog...and all the while I thought I hold the crown to that. She is always filtering information that for months I never knew her real marital status nor her motherhood experience. While I talk a bulk of Zach stories, she never hinted anything about her kiddos.....her reason - I didnt ask! She is yet to tour me around in her pretty small car...and she is yet to invite me to the resto she co-owns with her hubby and brothers. She goes to her mother's house on weekends, knows Comic Alley very well and plays that game I couldnt even pronounce the name. We like to have coffee session both in our virtual and real life worlds. Our left hand is holding the mug, and the right one is well....holding the bad habit... She is not easy to befriend...but easy to have giggles with... She is my budding travel mate...and a sleeping buddy at that! We have gone here and there.....climbed the peak and went down the falls...mesmerized by the century old and dazed by the rough.. Amidst this chaotic world, she is one sight to behold..and indeed a promise sent by the Heavens... That's Isabelle Diwa for me, my virtual friend...unmasked!

Virtually Unfolded

Having an online work would also mean running in circle of virtual friends, and that’s what I have since the past year that I have gone full blast in this so-called the web life. Having considered with you the question of what kind of personas dominate the zone, they are varied in sizes, smiles, words and all but I would say it matters not and to some degree it does. The only thing that matters the most is how fast and accurate you could type to make the conversation flowing and interesting. You see, the backbone of a person’s character cannot be well defined in the virtual community, because handshakes can be just graphically done through the emoticons and laughing out loud can be just a simple LOL. Sometimes, the web jargon can easily be interpreted as all hype, no emotions, no bonds, no real friendships. The language spoken has its own interpretation and meaning, just like the twittering or warbling of a bird, very distinct and very different. Some say that virtual is well just virtual….it is just surreal! But in my case, that’s far from the truth. I did form friendships…and a close one at that. And if you ask me if it is worth the faded keyboard and the calloused palm base, I would answer YES outright without a doubt! To this day, I am still a firm believer of the word “fate”. That fate comes in different packages, may it be small or gigantic, the experiences that you will encounter in life is your destiny and that you don’t only follow it but you also own it. You life is already packaged exactly the way you steer it and it is up to you to upgrade it or to leave it the way it is. And for some reason, I am one who pursues hard to see what’s behind the gesture of a small talk or kindness. I see people as unique creation other than my own and I treat friendships as wonderful treasures, including the ones I just formed. That is why I don’t let an opportunity pass by to get to meet in person the very people that keep me sane and insane at the same time amidst the call of la la la land when I am burning hours to finish work online. These are the very people that run in my virtual world and later dwell permanently in my real world. I have met and fathomed many personalities all throughout my existence, most of them stayed beyond years unthinkable, and some of them chose the life without me…but for those who stayed and have put up with me, I thank them beyond the word of gratuity. I am proud to have them…and in this very rare case of having a virtual world, I have extra special words for them. Unfolded before my very eyes is the subtle yet felt way of caring of Isabelle or Diwa as we fondly call her. She may filter much of her personal information but readily opens up when given the opportunity. We act as shock absorbers to each other, I could rant my heart out to her and vice versa. But in between those pouring out moments we know our relationship is not only confined to the face of the screen in front of us. I treat her as my younger sister though most of the time I act the other way around as she could just give me those timely advises I desperately need. That’s Diwa for me, the pretty little girl who drive s a pretty little car. 

Next closest to my heart is Glen, my virtual “lolo”, the solo backpacker from Davao cum Afghan war remnant cum HR specialist. I just started having conversation with him about work and ended having a lot of LOL moments. I like chatting with him as we can express ourselves in our native dialect, it makes the scandal more scandalous and gossips much magnified.  There was never a day that we didn’t get to talk about the candidates, the funny messages or irritating messages we get from them and what not? Then when we are both satisfied with our work output, we celebrate it with NAICHA! That’s Glenn for me, the only person who took my tantrums as just a girl thingy!

The first person I met first among my virtual family is Claire, the small, poetic girl from Davao who takes HR job so seriously that when her candidates fall short of the score threshold, she would die a little bit inside. She gave me another perspective when it comes to writing, she writes more sense than me, but I interject another facet of reality to her protected life that made us good friends even if she already left the recruitment team. That’s Claire for me, the girl who still believes in the sincerity of sending Christmas cards through snail mail.

Next person I had a chance to know more is Jo, my inviter buddy. She believes in toeing the line all the time. She never strayed from what is the norm and though we do see things differently, we always agree to give the best output as a team and that made things easy for us. After 3 small cups of Starbucks refillable water and a tall glass of iced tea, I got to learn the other side of Jo, and that is our similarities in our single blessedness. That is Jo for me, the woman who prefers fresh air from the farm rather than the excruciating heat in the city. The one guy who I don’t talk much on chat but got to know in person is Kyle. He looked more mature in his picture than in person, and I am glad I saw that in him as I would forever wonder if we are of the same age just basing my opinion on the virtual things I see.  I admire him for helping himself take out the bad habit of smoking from his system. I hope I can use him as my model to do the same. Funny thing is when he was smoking his e-cig inside the coffee shop, my foot was raring to kick his ass off because of envy, good thing they agreed to go out to give me the chance to smoke real filtered cigarettes. Oh for now, I prefer the odd taste of my Marlboro reds.  That’s Kyle for me, the baby in the family but has the same habits as his older virtual sibs. 

Next guy I took the chance to meet in person is Bingo, but I prefer calling him by his real name: Modesto. Given the fact that he is half Korean and half Filipino, I would like to see him more Filipino in his ways and calling him Modesto would sound more nationalistic, right? Bingo is one recruitment team member who gives sunshiny thoughts to your gloomy morning when he would paste senseless but thoughtful messages in the chatroom. Whatever you tell him to do, he would readily say yes although it doesn’t mean he would do it right away.  I had the privilege to stamp a milestone achievement to my life when he introduced me to Korean drink SOJU. It tested my alcohol intake capacity and when I was already seeing doubles, he was gracious enough to take me to the nearest Starbucks. Thanks to him for bringing me to that Korean bar which name he cant remember even if he always frequented the place.  That’s Bingo for me, unpredictable and loud yet funny and sensible inside. The last person I am going to talk about is our Recruitment Team Manager Angel who acts as a glue that holds us strong as a sourcing department. She speaks impeccable English, very polished and very fluent. I admire her for handling us all with grace though sometimes we don’t know if we should befriend her or just plainly fear her.  When I met her in person, I realized that I could just be myself with her, and that I could talk about things the way HUMAN BEINGS do. Not only that she gave us the chance to have a time to bond with each other, she also shared part of her with us openly and that is one precious memory I would always cherish about her. That’s Angel for me, fierce yet friendly. 

In this life, the opportunities you have to be a friend to someone else will always be there. It could happen while in line in a grocery store or while having your hair done in a parlor. Take those chances, because the life you share with other people is the testimony of the life you have lived. In every person that you touch base with, you will always have something you can teach or learn. Friendship is just like any other relationship, you need to keep it constantly nurtured so it would grow healthy and sound along with your character and outlook in life. I am thankful that even if my life revolves around the virtual world, I do still have opened doors to make friends, and the people I mention above are just few of them. One friend of mine commented that since I became full time with my online job I became anti-social, he just doesn’t know that the party never ends in the virtual world.  Pizza and beer can be ordered in just few clicks and laughs can be rolling over the floor or just simply laughing out loud.

That’s my virtual family for me, seems like just an imagination but so REAL to me!

Touching Base with O'Sheila Panal Boag

When you have friends whom you havent seen for a long time, there's a sort of dead air once you get to see each other again...but that's not the case with friends with whom you share so much sweet memories with, thats not the case between Sheila and me... She is my friend way back in college ( we went to different universities) who I lost contact with for almost 20 years...(hmmm, dont ask my age now...:-))I was the Godmother of her son...I knew that she had a hard life back then, studying, raising a child and trying to make a living at the same time. Life for me then was a breeze, I had a good life...my Dad provided well and I didnt have to go through what my friend went though. As fate would dictate, we saw each other again on a social networking site, a frendship was rekindled and is still lighting up...nothing has changed except that she is a very successful businesswoman now, married to a foreigner and enjoying life immensely. Im truly happy for my friend, as she has not lost her enthusiasm for loving life the way we did when we were still teenagers...and thats what reconnected us.

Twice she visited me here and vice versa...all those meet ups, we would be laughing so hard, paint the town red and ends the trip with a smile in our hearts. Having those special times with Sheila always lifts my spirits up....and always, I go back the memory lane and savor those times that indeed we are really friends...come high come low!



Im quite sentimental when it comes to my friends, they are my strength and inspiration. I hold them dear to my heart and it goes without saying that I love them. It feels good to know that along the different journeys each one treads, you meet someone on crossroads with familiar experiences and you just dont let go...thats why touching base with her is a blessing to me...not only for the good times that we share but for special treatment that she gives me whenever im with her...with gratefulness in my heart, Sheila is a lifetime's worth of a blessing to me...Here's to our friendship TIYA!!! Love you!!!

ONE's WORTH is ONE's LIFE

I have a weakness which I cant get rid of...and that of being a sucker for friends...time and again, I am duped, betrayed, misunderstood and mislabeled...I dont really know exactly how I have managed so far...life is just a circus, clowns are coming in with either a sad face or a happy one, and sometimes it takes a while before I see whats beneath the mask...and then i see nothing..

I believe every person has a purpose, some are born from royalty, some become great leaders, some become notoriously famous, others are just born. I think I was born to be this way, a sucker :-( I have few friends I do really keep as my true friends...others for me are just acquaintances, mates who you go along with your journey, but I only keep a few that i will always treasure...these are people I care about and I pray for every night. Sometimes when you are alone in your journey, away from family, you look over your shoulder and you see your friends close by...then you begin to think that they have become your family and then life becomes about them..and when it is about them, you want to build more memories with them, catching every sight of good ones...and not letting go..

I want to believe that I take risks when it comes to friends...I lay down my cards early on, thats why some of them have taken the steps to be ahead of me in the game..and then take me on for my lapses. When a friend throws a ball onto you full of hateful words, it catches you off guard, wondering why it has not been said through the years of friendship...then you realize, was the ball thrown for the purpose of correcting you or is it their defense to hide their flaws? I know myself, I lead, I plan, I create, I teach, I spend, I complain, because no one else does...I try to make my friends run in the same circle, to be one..and I think I have succeeded in that because most of my friends from all walks of life know or somehow has an idea of one another...I lay my life open to people, why? That 3 letter word has been hovering my head for days now? WHY? WHY? WHY? And then I ask again, Why not? Is the person's worth measured by the many laughs you get from friends? Is someone's character based on how much you can shut up on difficult situations? Is a person gauged by the power she/he has over his/her friends? How is one judged to be a good friend? Is it by the number of "friends" you have? Or is it by the numerous invitations you get on weekends? Are there really people who just look up to you because they need you and hates your guts when they have been fully trained by you. If people you have taken with your journey refuses in the middle of the road, then is it about time to take separate roads? Should friends cheer for each other's success and not compete? How is one's worth seen? Isnt it by the life he/she lives???

I have contained the pain for so long just so no balls are thrown....but if someone calls me selfish, bossy, dominant,manipulative then what are you? I do not make a promise I cant fulfill, I dont borrow money I cant pay, I dont make others wait, I dont hassle anyone's time without compensating, I dont spoil anyone's night, I dont go as freeloader and most of all I dont say things I dont mean.

For crying out loud, I am proud of who I am and proud to know my worth because truthfully, I am a sucker who just wants to have friends and be a friend to them. It is all about FRIENDSHIP, not FRIGGIN SHIT!

Song dedication: To my other BFF Faye Go

Best Friend by Brandy

Whenever I'm down
I call on you my friend
A helping hand you lend
In my time of need
So, I'm calling you now
Just to make it good
What else can I do
For you hear my plea
Friends may come and friends may go
But you should know
That I've got your back
It's automatic
So never hesitate to call
Cause I'm your sister
And always for you
In love
Whenever I'm down
With all that's going on
Is really going on
Just one of those days
And you
Say the right things
To keep me moving on
To keep me going strong
What else can I say?
Friends are there through thick and thin
And I've been told that
And I believe that
It's automatic
Call me when you need a friend
Cause I'm your sister
And always know that
I'll be there for you
When you're going through
Things that you need me
You're close to me
My friend
You can count on me
Call me when you need me
Or can't take it anymore,
I don't know what I'd ever do without you
>From the beginning to the end
You've always been here right beside me
So I'll call you my best friend
Through the good times and the bad ones
Whether I lose or if I win
I know one thing that never changes
And that's you as my friend! :)

Love you always Manang!

Song dedication: To my BFF Angie Regalado

Kind & Generous by Natalie Merchant

You've been so kind and generous
I don't know how you keep on giving
For your kindness I'm in debt to you
For your selflessness, my admiration
And for everything you've done

You know I'm bound...
I'm bound to thank you for it

You've been so kind and generous
I don't know how you keep on giving
For your kindness I'm in debt to you
And I never could have come this far without you
So for everything you've done

You know I'm bound...
I'm bound to thank you for it

I want to thank you
For so many gifts
You gave with love and tenderness
I want to thank you

I want to thank you
For your generosity
The love and the honesty
That you gave me

I want to thank you
Show my gratitude
My love and my respect for you
I want to thank you

I want to...

Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you


I love u OA!!!

Letters: Short note to Angie Regalado

Thanks OA for your never-ending support. Thanks for loving me and for taking care of me now and always....I will love and cherish you FOREVER!!!

Letters: To my friend Kikiw

Natal day 2011

My dearest TIK,BUNS,LING,Fwend;

It’s your BIRTHDAY today!!! Who would have thought I would be celebrating it again with you? That’s quite an honor really to be a part of your life for the past 6 years and eventhough we have gone through a rough time in our friendship, no one can deny the fact that most of those years were all good!! I cant thank you enough for making the last 6 years of my life wonderful my friend.
You are 22 now, too young to really have a full grasp of life, too old to still act childish but quite ready enough to face life’s battles. I am so proud of you for the things you have accomplished so far. I know that you are on your way to realizing your dreams and I know you will make it BIG! Just keep your feet on the ground at all times and be thankful for every blessing received. Remember, we got 46 countries waiting for us…so we better make good! 
Wow, I don’t really have much to say my friend…..you already know what’s in my heart and that never changed since we became friends…I just wanna assure you that you are the most special friend I have in this little island of Dumsville…you know that I care so much for you and I love you lots..
How I wish we could do another week of celebration like we did last year…but it’s Holy Week…aside from all bars are closed, all banks on holiday…I guess our pockets betrayed us at this time of the month…TINGBITS!  But I couldn’t let it pass without a grand salvo my friend…so sit back and relax…
Just before all the chaos begins…I just want to greet you a very Happy Birthday and may all you wished for be granted and that you will have another blessed year ahead!

I love you dearly,

Jubang

Letters: A letter to my couple-friend Marky & Ann

EMO date, 2011

Dearest Handsome and Gorgeous (FEELER ra…hehehe),



I drafted a separate letter for you each but I thought it best to make one for you two as the things I wanna say really is for you as a couple. First let me congratulate you for a job well done in your relationship…..keep it stronger each day….! These are just my few wishes for you:
1. Love each other fully and with all your might, a love given away freely is the best gift you can give to each other. No amount of material thing can ever surpass that ( unless it’s a MAC PRO…hahahaha)
2. Learn to accept each other at his/her worst state. Because that’s when you can measure up how much each other can put up with the most trying times in your journey.
3. Make memories together. The more sweet times you have with each other, the more reason you would want to stay together…Trust me on this!
4. Tot continue to be the nurturing partner that you are, Marky will forever appreciate that and Marky, continue to be the supportive partner that you are, Antot will forever be grateful for that…..in short Im telling you Antot to keep the household clean including the CR, kitchen and the bed…hehehe…and Marky, what im really saying is for you to be patient with Antot’s nagging regarding the mess you do in the CR, kitchen and on the bed…hahahaha
5. Be each other’s HERO….a HERO can be just defined as someone who could laugh at your own mistakes and still give you a peck on the cheek…that’s what you should be to each other…
6. Always AGREE to DISAGREE…when one is mad, let the other one be calm….no use in clashing for petty things as this will just create cracks in your relationship..remember that if you continue to agree that there are just things you disagree about then you are on the same page in your relationship.
7. Antot, you have admitted to be insecure….this was not explained further but if you are referring to your standing in Marky’s life, DON’T BE…we your friends have witnessed the love Marky has for you…you have this MAN in your life, so no reason to be insecured….instead learn to appreciate even the small things he is doing for you…you are one lucky girl remember that!
8. Marky, Antot may be so extravagant in showing her love for you but I guess she just wanted to make sure you get the BEST of her…so don’t complain instead treasure it as those are part of the memories you both are making….you are one hell of a lucky guy, remember that.
9. Take pleasure in assuring one another your commitment….it could be in the smallest gesture of just staring at each other or just holding each other’s hand…but what really matter is the message you are sending…assurance can guarantee security…
10. Lastly, keep the friendship SOLID and celebrate everyday as if it’s the first day you fell in love with one another…..because friendship will outlast the lust and passion and the first day you felt giggles for each other may be the best reason you should stick to one another. CHEERS!!!

Love,

Jubang

Letters: My letter to my friend Issa

EMO date, 2011

My dearest MADAM vanISSA,

I have so many things I want to tell you but I don’t think I have enough space here….so for now I will just tell you things that are pressing for the moment. I know you are going through rough times…and I know it’s the same thing all over again…and you may sometimes doubt your capacity as a person, so here’s what I want you to affirm in your life:

1. You are beautiful, young, sexy and exotic. Any guy would like to know you better if you just open a door for them to enter your life.
2. You should be respected, pampered and cared for even just for the sole reason that you are a human being and have rights.....dont ever think that you don’t deserve it because you do!
3. If you are constantly unhappy about something then maybe its time to let go of it. It may hurt much, but that pain will go away when it is replaced by self-esteem that you have lost along the way.
4. Don’t ever feel SELF-PITY. You owe it to yourself to be happy, happiness is a choice…so if you are in misery that’s because you chose that….so don’t punish yourself by thinking you are worth for nothing because you have endured so much and to regret about everything is like digging yourself a hole.
5. Feel your age, live young and live freely….my friend, you are still very young and have so much ahead of you…live the way you should and not the way other people tell you to..
6. Always do the right thing even if it’s the hardest thing to do…..however painful to go through one thing, sleeping peacefully at night rewards it fully. My friend, I don’t want to see you cry over a guy who does nothing but insults and disrespects you, you owe it to yourself to stop that emotional abuse….please consider that thought.
7. Continue your studies and finish it…that’s the only weapon you can arm yourself from the harsh realities of life. If money is the reason they can insult you then arm yourself with same. You can use that to improve yourself and be better than them.
8. Do not get swallowed by the glitz and glamour of the other side of the fence. Material things are temporary, but emotional distress will build up and will damage you for the rest of your life.
9. Stay close to your family. I salute you for always considering their needs first before yours, that’s so noble…so keep them close at all times.
10. I want you to know that I care for you…I told you time and again that I treat you as my younger sister and that I will constantly give you an eyeful and I will keep it that way til I can see that you are ready to spread your wings and fly high. Take very good care of yourself my friend..

Love lots,

Jubang

Correspondence: Email letters

I am sharing my email to a friend who just came by to visit me last weekend..and her reply to that email, I am so blessed to have good friends!!!

-----Original Message-----
From: Juvy Manalastas [mailto:juvym@asianlife.com.ph]
Sent: Wednesday, April 13, 2011 4:24 PM
To: eunicel@asianlife.com.ph
Subject: Goodbye and see you soon
Hello girl, sorry wasn’t able to reply to your messages anymore…I ran out of load… 

Anyway, I want to thank you for making time for me and my friends…or shall I say your CUZNS!!! I had a good talk-time with you and though we don’t hang out much when Im there I know that I got a special place in your heart. So please know that you have a friend in me too!!

I suck at goodbyes too, that’s why I don’t really kiss or hug when going separate ways…it makes me equally sad…  But that’s life, let’s just take each day apart as another day nearer to when we see each other again…

I hope you had a grand time here girl. I hope it gave you another perspective on how family is…its structure, composure and importance. Im happy that you are bridging the gap between you and your siblings….thats a lot of effort to do and I salute you for that… hoping you could visit more…maybe bring along our friends…..that would be so much more exciting… 

Take care always and again, thanks so much…mwah!!!

JUVY N. MANALASTAS
BSA - Dumaguete Branch
139 Real St., Dumaguete City
(035) 2261998/4220786
VOIP: 723
________________



Her reply:

RE: Goodbye and see you soon
Eunice Llaguno [eunicel@asianlife.com.ph]
Sent: Thu 4/14/2011 9:33 AM
To : juvym@asianlife.com.ph


Girl okay lang kahit this morning ko na to nabasa... at least makakapag-emote and medyo mahaba ang reply :)

Thank you Bang for spending your time with me. Oist...BONGACIOUS ang stay ko dyan. As in!!!! Ina-nnounce ko na sya dito. Though di ko muna sinabi na ikaw ang sponsor sa hotel unless okay lang sa yo na sabihin ko yun.

I enjoyed being with my CUZIN(S). Kung hindi lang parang drained ang powers ko nung last night ko, kahit 'til dawn sana. Kasi enjoy pa... Siguro dahil sa "activity" namin nung afternoon kaya walang natirang energy nung sa Hayahay... Hehehe...

Sayang din yung meeting namin ni Andy... may sanib na ko. Bad Trip!!! kaya madami pa ko na babalikan diyan....

Kaya for now, "let’s just take each day apart as another day nearer to when we see each other again…" Na-sad ako when I went out of the office yesterday. Kaya nga buti na lang madalian yung alis para hindi ramdam. Pero nung nasa airport na, ang bigat na naman sa loob. Told you, napag-usapan ka namin ni Daddy Jords... Nalulungkot siya na you are alone and you are not eating the right food.... Oy this is not to discourage you ha? Kasi madaming single na masaya and positive sa buhay and you are one of those. Nasasabi nya yun kasi kay Daddy Jords family ang nakakapagpasaya. Nasabi pa niya na buti na lang daw supported si Zak nila Philip pare hindi ka na masyado stressed sa bagay na yan. Baka pwede pa naman daw kayo ni Philip. Sabi ko, mukhang di uubra yun. Alam mo ba na sabi ba naman hanapan kita? E wala nung qualifications na gusto mo yung di nag-iiwan ng shorts kung saan saan... walang topak... hihihi!!! Pero kelangan mo daw talaga ng someone to take care of you... Yung complement mo... hehe... hopeless romantic talaga asawa ko. Hahaha!!!

Ay naku Bang! talagang we will have more good times pa... diyan sa Dumaguete and kahit dito sa Manila. And "though we don’t hang out much when Im there" basta may chance and magmeet ang schedule, AT INIWAN ka ng lahat, tayo ang gigimik! I like good "talks".... Kahit anu-ano lang... di kelangan mag-isip ng sasabihin yung comfortable ka magkwento na hindi ka huhusgahan.... At yun yung isa sa na-eenjoy ko sa yo....

You are one of those few na may ganiyang level sa buhay ko. Kaya ngayon, na alam mo na, na you've "got a special place in (my)your heart.", I am letting you "know that you have a friend in me too!!" At di na kelangan i-memorize pa... Ibang level naman kasi ang friendship natin e. Hindi kelangan lagi ang usap para i-validate ba na "o kaibigan pa rin ba tayo? o may nagbago ba sa atin? o baka may iba ka ng friend kaya echa pwera na ko...". Ang view ko sa friendship natin is the type that you keep. And that special place that our friendship has in our lives, will always be reserved for that friendship alone na walang pwedeng makapalit.

Enjoy the rest of the day... Matagal ako mag-compose madami palapit lapit... May nagkukwentuhan... Etc... Finally, I've come to my "dead-end"... Take care din Girl and Thank you ulit...

Love you po...

NICE

Adventure 2011

Last February 13, 2011, birthday girl Issa Regner together with her brother passed by my house to pick me up along with Andy Summers and Kikiw Tanilon. We took the cab and proceeded to the bus terminal. By 730am, we were heading to Tanjay, an hour travel from the city. When we arrived there, we had breakfast at the public market and waited for the couple, Ann Cale and Markymark Bezars to join us to Pamplona. it rained hard so we hired a cab to bring us to Simborio. A 20minute ride with some 10minutes bumpy roads. From the main road, we headed down to the river. I was so amazed to see how wide it is with rocky bed. I told myself, "this is gonna be another helluva lot of adventure"...and I was right!!!

Here's a glimpse of my weekend escapade with friends...

The river that we crossed to reach Simborio, Pamplona - hometown of the birthday girl.


As we were preparing ourselves before crossing the river, I was about to fold my pants as high as I could.


A snapshot of me and Andy Summers ( a very close gay friend)


As we were nearing the other side of the river


We saw a snake that was washed away from the river...sounds scary!


The muddy path leading to the house of Issa Regner.


The birthday girl (in the middle wearing pink dress)with the Pariwara Club members.


Let's BOLT in!!!


Going the farther route to avoid rising water from the river. Passed this sugarcane field.


Walked barefoot as it was so slippery. Are those my feet?


Tiptoed on this old railbridge....planks are loose and no siderails to hold on to!!!


After walking past coconut laden path, muddied rice and sugarcane plantations, trekked uphill and tiptoed on the bridge, we have reached this cemented road with a structure that is good for posing...:-)

I have not posted here pics when we played poker ( I won together with Andy, beating the couple Ann and Mark)... lol..Tequila shots, videoke singing, dancing with the old ones, laughing out loud with jokes being passed around, our faces when we reached back the highway and finally onboard the bus going back to the city. The post party dinner and recap get-together ( another party actually with same cast)....you couldnt imagine how tired we were reaching our respective homes, but the smile on our faces lingered til now ...... :-)

Til next birthday...

Anatomy of an ADDICT....up close and personal

Every person at one point of their lives may be exposed to drug temptation or experimentation. There are people you know that may have experimented with drugs in the past but did not become addicted. However, there are some people that may have experimented with a certain drug one or two times and became addicted. You may be wondering why this is. I have always wondered why?

I had my share of "curiosity" with drugs. I smoked pot few times, had laugh trip, food trip and everything was just slow. I did the "poor man's cocaine", the first time i did it, it did defeat the alcohol effect til morning, made me talk more and more, made me sweat and lost my appetite. The next time I did it, it has no effect at all. I can stay all night without it, I can control my alcohol intake without it, and I am in born talkative, so its effects are normal for me. I did cough syrup, all it did was raise my hair on my nape...and slowed me down. I am telling this because I want to emphasize that even if I tried these forbidden and dangerous drugs, it did not gave me sensational feelings...I thought drugs could turn you to be the person you always aspire to be, so thinking I would be a SUPERWOMAN, i did it...but as Ive said, it failed me....I am still a SUPERWOMAN the way i am, in few other ways!!!

So what about other people? I know of someone who has been taking drugs since he was in high school. He is very dear to my heart and every time I talk to him, I try hard to read his mind on why is he so addicted to it when all he does is complain about its ill effects to him physically. He doesn't go to school anymore, the most untrustworthy in their family according to his mom, his friends are the people with questionable characters...most of his stories of friends are those in jail, killed or raped because of drugs....His life is sure going downhill. I tried hard to put sense in his mind, but because he is very young, I doubt if the things i said to him ever came across even an inch to his brain. I care for this man, though he never showed deeper interest in me, he has always been a good sight to behold. I love it when he could laugh at himself, I love making a day pass by that he could be drug free. I have realized I failed in doing so...He became too familiar with me that he could even tell straight to my face lies he could muster. And I realized I failed him too, I wanted to give him the care he couldn't get from anyone else, just so he would realize that LIFE is STILL BEAUTIFUL..that he could still mend his ways and start again...He did and stopped drugs for the same woman...He stopped because he fell in love with her and when she dumped him, he went back to his old ways. Maybe he is emotionally weak to stand firm on his ground, maybe he acts if motivated, so when the motivating factors ebbed, so went his will.

There are many different factors that play a role in drug addiction. Better understanding what these are can help us make more sense out of what we have seen or experienced oourselves. There are certain genes that may actually make someone more likely to use or abuse drugs as they grow. Biology is a very complex subject, each one of us react differently to a given situation. So the chemical/anatomical structure of a person could be one factor. Another factor is the person's environment. Someone that is around drugs most of their lives will be more likely to experiment. Just like parents who speaks French, will likely to have a family who will be speaking French their whole lives. If they also have the genes that make them more susceptible to drug abuse then they may be facing a large battle. Think about it, if you are watching someone use drugs on a daily basis then you may grow up thinking that it is normal and acceptable. Along with environmental factors, it could crop out from one person's LIFE experiences, it could be about stress and abuse. These factors may make someone more willing to drugs or alcohol as a way to hide from their problems. Mental illness or other emotional disorders can be found as factors for some people because the drugs are often used as a way to self medicate. This can be very hard to break, especially if their environment is full of drugs and they are not surrounded by positive support systems. This can be how the drug abuse starts. Then, it becomes an inappropriate coping skill and an addiction. And I think that's how it is for my dear friend, he uses drug to COPE with life..for his ineptness, for his loneliness, for his way to REACH OUT!! And I guess, nobody understood him any way he would want to be.

So how do you help someone who is an ADDICT? Would you cater to his ways and let him cope the way he knows how? Or would you put your foot down and be hard on him? Can you use tough love? Would an addict recognize the difference between genuine care or nor? Would he be able to appreciate and make it as his driving force? What if you cant tell if he is an addict or not? Who can make him stop? Would another woman he might fall in love with make miracles? How far would you go caring for an addict? Lastly, are ADDICTS capable of really loving? Think about that the next time that you encounter someone that is dealing with a drug addiction.

I'm still thinking until now....

This crazy thing called.....................SHIT!

My out-of-town vacations are always well planned. Prior to my booking, I have already confirmed schedules of the people I plan to meet, set them up to fit my itinerary. For my latest Manila trip, it was already planned months before, and I have been calling each one of my friends to set up "appointments" with them. I had to make sure that I had ample time allotted for each group so that my trip would be full - (read: no dull moment)..that's why, I had a longer break this time, I booked for 5 days in my favorite hotel. Made sure I got the first flight in, and the last flight out to maximize my time.

My first day was a surprise, Yman - my best-friend for 5 years met me up earlier than scheduled. He went to my hotel at 3pm when we were supposed to meet after dinner. So we went to the nearest mall and bought us some booze...Tequila Cuervo Gold...We drank it while we waited for others...Came Justin around dinner time, followed by Ping...

After the bottle of tequila, we bought Red Horse for "washing"...I didnt drink much of the beer though since I promised myself to slow down on it this 2009...( belly problems...u know) We then went to a bar called Socialites down Remedios st...we just had few bottles there and coffee ( Yman was wasted at this time)...then we went to Chowking for some hot noodles...that was it for my first night..great company and great time...

My second day was mixed up...Maya who was supposed to stay with me for the night ( and which was supposed to be just a night of catching up with her) cancelled and told me she'd come the next day, so since I had no other plans for the day, I decided to see people at my head office...there we planned to go out and of course had to ask the very person I was so excited to see and hang out with. He said yes to my invitation, in fact, he even told me that he didnt file for an overtime which was like saying " see, Im doing this for you.."...the plan was set, we were to meet at TopGrill just located at the back of the building where our head office was....I was with Keren for dinner then we just waited for others to follow. Viel was the first one to arrive, then followed by Karl and Majid...This Majid guy is a lifesaver for me, he was funny...and just the right person to be with when tension rises up. The night passed by without me noticing "his" absence when he texted and confirmed that he cant really come for shit reasons...Of course, I got hurt deep inside, but I didnt show it since the people I was with that time are new acquaintances....In fact, I was convincing myself that it wasnt planned at all and I shouldnt be expecting anything coz my schedule with him was really Friday...I had great company that night, signing in to my hotel at 330am...

Then third day came, the biggest day for me...I waited for Maya who took forever to arrive. I didnt confirm anymore who was coming or not coz I really expected that this was already set even before I came to Manila. Maya arrived at 4pm, then we hurriedly went to the Head Office...the same people I was with last night confirmed attendance, then while waiting for others to wrap up their respective errands at the office, I learned that "he" had other plans....This really got me...He knew that I was there to see him and I made it known to him. In fact, in one of our talks prior to my trip, he also told me that he was excited to see me...I didnt have the guts to ask him again, so I gave him the cold shoulder..( I guess, thats just how women reacts when disappointed)This was another equally great night for me, we had tequila, lambanog ( local booze) and beer...We just hung out in my hotel room...The last person to follow was Sir Chris, "his" supervisor....that was when I thought maybe, Sir Chris could convince him to come over....but he wasnt answering the calls. I then thought, what the heck, I should pester him now while I am still under the influence of the booze ( excuses! excuses! excuses!)...To my dismay, he was rejecting all my calls....and then he texted me hurtful words..telling me that I dont have the right to get angry at him sicne he already gave his explanation on the first night he didnt show up....and it puzzled me...Why did he react that way? Why was he so angry at me? And what did I say to make him say that?

With the disappointment and hurt all combined, I broke down....really broke down. I had to cry in the restroom since my bed was crowded with people...and most of them were already sleeping...I had the chance to talk to Majid and Maya one after the other, but still it didnt answer the nagging questions in my mind. Who did he talk to while I was there and told him that I said so many bad things about him? And why didnt he confront me earlier? Why took the risk of losing everything and timed it when I was there to visit him? God, I was ont he verge of going wherever he was at that moment....just to slap him hard...but hey, I got me thinking, who does he think he is anyway?

I never slept at all...morning came and I woke everybody up, asking them if they have talked to "him" by chance and told him anything that could make him react that way...everybody denied everything..and I believed them...there's only one person in my mind who I know she is capable of doing it to me...and while talking to Karl about it, the picture was getting clearer. I couldnt understand why people go such lengths of putting down others just not to be outshone...I know they are close, and I know the girl always get jealous when Im getting close to "her" friends...in fact, she wants everything that I have, she wants everything that I give to other people. Thats how envious she is...I got close to her friends than she ever was and that she couldnt take, so what she does and create conflicts between people. And this was a classic example of how mean she could be...Of course, Im still hurt, not by him but by her also...They have topped with sadness the great vacation that I had...and all i could do is charge it to experience.

One thing I learned though is that the world is still so big for me, there are far greater people than the people I admire...they are just waiting for me to say "hi" to them..and Im so blessed to having met these new friends in my life...They make me laugh, they make life so beautiful....Im sure we will have more fun in the coming days...and I hope it will be here where I live...God Bless Karl, Maya, Keren, Viel, Chris, Glady, Sherwin, Yman, Ping, Justin, Aleli and Majid...I love you guys!