Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Looking at the other side of the fence


I could honestly say that I have a blessed LIFE. My family didn’t go through hardships that others did, if we ever did, it is a negligible thing as compared to poverty wretched people I know.

I don’t look down to people who resort to odd jobs just to get a decent meal, if you can really call it decent. I have secret respect to people who goes beyond pride and self preservation just to make money. These are people who would do anything just to survive. I'm not saying that I tolerate people who kill and steal for money.....let me be clear on that.

Now here's a story I want to share to support my statement above:
I have a very easygoing friend of 20 years. Now that she's better off than the rest of us financially, she takes us to places we wouldn’t be dreaming of going. One of the places she took me to (aside from our out of town trips) was a gay bar. I was hesitant at first as I thought it was not a good place I will be seen at since I belong to the corporate world and has a reputation to protect. Once inside, it took all guts upon me to even look at the gyrating sexy men on stage.

We were giggling at first, couldn’t believe the moves we saw in front of us. Most of the dancers were in their early twenties, good looking and well built. There were men who would show a little frontal nudity and approaches table for audience to touch them in exchange of money...that was something I couldn’t do.

I was already getting uncomfortable when there's this dancer who did an unusual dance to the beat of Shaggy's song. It was actually a nice number and I enjoyed it especially when his foot movement would slam the floor in time with the beat...
Eventually I have learned to relax inside the bar, and then my friend called the dancer and asked to sit with us. He positioned himself in between me and my other friend, extended his hand during introduction which I did not accept...I was arrogant then.

I didn’t talk much to the guy, left the task to my other friend as I was so consumed with finishing my margarita and leave the place because by then more and more dancers were doing frontal nudity. The dancer on our table was invited by our friend to go with us disco dancing afterwards which he graciously accepted. That's when we got to talking about life....and my view about them in general turned 360 degrees at once.
He is the eldest of 9 brood, his family lives on a very meager income, in fact much of the time the money that his parents would make in a day couldn’t feed them all. He took the toil of labor at an early age when his parents could not support his studies anymore after secondary school, so he left town. He worked for a restaurant for a while but was offered the job he is doing now because of his eagerness to earn fast money and send it home.

He used his talent in dancing to be able to survive the first night, but he drowned himself a bottle of rum so he couldn’t feel anything. And he went on night after night, always drunk to be able to dance well. He loves dancing, he is proud of that, but the manner that he makes money out of it is something he still couldn’t quite get over with until now. Yes, he told us he has accepted indecent proposals...a lot of times already, but deep inside him, he is wishing he had other way.
In this job, he has met many women who all went and gone because of the kind of job he does. He has fathered 6 children from different women, only one is with him. He loves his son so much, that why he is always bothered by the life he has chosen to live. When at times that he doesn’t like to dance in front of an audience, he couldn’t because he has a son to feed and raise. Again, he blames poverty. He couldn’t get himself to rise above it, so he just learned to dance around it.
That's when I have understood why some people choose to work in the red district. It is easy; it doesn’t require high education and labels. It only requires GUTS and a HEART of STONE. But I honestly believe that if these people do not have talent in dancing or in the way they talk to people, then I don’t think they would last any minute longer.

My heart bled for him...I never knew someone could have so much hardships in life financially....I have never experienced that. Looking back at the life I have lived, I am so blessed yet took that for granted. There is this guy who is working for the money, doing a job he is ashamed of, every step is like every pound down but he keeps going....and despite the fact that he couldn’t move without alcohol in his body, he makes sure his performance is something to clap about. Who wouldn’t?

It is not the kind of living that we must judge one person, but we must look at the kind of life he is living so that we may understand him better. I am proud to have a macho dancer friend; after all he is more humane than the executives I know in my world. If you think you have the worst life, try to look at the other side of the fence and you will see how BLESSED you are!