I don't really consider myself a professional writer. I even don't have big words to make my article look classy and what is worse sometimes is I don't even have enough words to say. I write because I love it. I write to vent out my feelings, because often than not writing relieves me from being upset or depressed. Writing is my therapy, and a very effective one at that.
Since I was a little girl, I have always been passionate about writing. I have been a diary-girl almost all my growing up years, even until now, I still have a diary with me, eventhough I don't write much on it, it is still a constant companion wherever I go.
My thoughts sometimes betray me, so I write them down on my diary. Whenever I like a song I hear, I write the title down. Whenever I travel, I write the chronicles of events in an outline form on my diary. Whenever I am hurting, my diary is my listening ear.
Writing for me is a better way to keep my emotions well-balanced than drowning myself in pity. As I have said, it gives me relief from pain, from too much worry and from being bothered. Once I write my thoughts, a sudden magical feeling envelopes me afterwards. That's how good it is to write for me.
Now that I write for money, I sometimes feel I have lost the magic. I often ask myself, is it because I just write to earn or is it because I am too pre-occupied with other things? Am I not inspired enough to finish a 450-word article on time? When I started with my writing contract, I could finish 5 to 10 articles a DAY, but lately I can only finish 10 in a WEEK. How come my fingers are now too heavy to tick the keys? Is my passion for writing dwindled already?
Now that I'm writing this entry, I have come to realize that WRITING isn't just a process of pouring out my thoughts on things, but it is also a process of pouring out my emotions. That explains the fact that I do get a hard time writing about dental implants, business plans and what not?
I write because I want to share something of me and something that I have strong conviction about. If I keep writing about same topic everytime, the very essence of writing gets lost. That explains why my fingers do not do the walking along with my brain.
I have realized that I am not a writer for money, but a writer by heart. I realized that I write because I love it and not because I can make money out of it. With that realization, I have put my mind at ease and told myself that it is just okay to write 10 articles in a week than write a hundred without my heart in it.
I owe it to the readers to find a good article to read and I owe it to my employer to get the best of me, so I will now write easy and be a writer that I really am. To hell with bonuses and rankings, for G's sake, I am a writer and not anyone's contender!
