Blessed!

Life has been difficult this year, my business is not doing good, my daytime job is still the same, my family faced one crisis after the other and my personal life in roller coaster ride. I would have given up a long time ago if not for my friends who I think are constantly looking after my welfare without my knowledge. It must have been their prayers to God that keeps me STRONG all this time.

My friends are my pillars of strength next to my family. They are the ones who patiently listen to my woes, and not to mention that I have lots to share. (Whew!) I am so blessed to have them around, they give me constant watch and though sometimes I deviate from their advice, they still love me anyway.

I want to acknowledge their important presence in my life, this is my way to thank them for the love and care they are giving me through the years.

Special mention to Jovicar Juntilla who keeps me sane and well, insane most of the time though (I know right?). She doesnt fail to understand me, she patiently swallows my rants and raves. She is always there to rescue me in time of despair and in times of laughter. She always make me feel I have a sister to lean on to especially lately when I am feeling so down and lost.I owe you a lot Apangs, and please know that I will always love and cherish you forever.

I also want to thank Ann Cale and Mark Anthony Besario for keeping me in their wings when I had nowhere to go to. I appreciate the fact that you both did not think twice to have me in your apartment when I was in need of a house. Your daily presence keeps me going. They are one couple that I could share my fears regarding relationships yet they dont judge me when I have one. Thank you!

Next to thank for are friends from Cebu who gave me courage to face my demons and have shown their support by their messages of love in Skype, SMS and FB. I appreciate the fact that even if we are far apart, they made me feel they are just around. Thank you Sheila and Ryan for reminding me that true friends do not measure distance and absence, friends truly can move mountains. I love you both!

One constant companion of mine here in Dumsville is Kirk Tanilon, someone who can make me laugh even in the middle of my hysteria. He can touch every inch of my moods yet he is easy to be with. I appreciate your company Kiw, please know that!

There is also Angie and Faye who are my BFFs for such a long time now. They accept me for what I am and for what I am not. Sometimes I wonder how long could they stand up for me, but I am assured by the fact that it has taken our friendship this long to let doubt set in. So, I am lulled every night to sleep with the thought that I have true friends in them! Thank you Manang Faye and OA!

And a surprise blessing from God when HE gave me a reader of my blogs who appreciate them and let her thoughts known to me. You know who you are, my new TITA. Thank you for bringing the inspiration back to the writer in me despite my predicament now. I appreciate what you told me that you are reading every word of my blogs so carefully to assimilate them. I am truly grateful that it gives you comfort whenever I write. I too have lost someone so dear to me, and because of you I want my Dad to know that he will never be forgotten.It's the people like you that keeps me going!

I may be sad now, I may be nursing a broken heart - but I will never give up on my happiness because with my friends around, I know I am truly BLESSED!

The THIN Line

When your lies become the very core of your reasoning power, eventually you will get lost along the way. When the lies are starting to get exposed, there is no stopping it anymore. And then it becomes really scary.....and worst part is....you cant see the thin line between the lies and the truth anymore.

I have just discovered a hay full of lies that I cant even find a single strand of truth within it. Its really a pity to know a person could web so much lies just to survive...especially if that person is the one you give your trust wholeheartedly.

Call it whatever you want...deceit, hoax, scam, fraud...whatever it may be, it feels the same....it hurts and it is painful. Really PAINFUL. I would have wallowed in self-pity with the betrayal but then I have realized that I cant be crashed down by those lies, instead I used them to help myself set the road ahead and rise above it!

It was one lesson learned, but hey, I love to learn, even if it was hard. I am still thankful that I have known about it before it could drown me. And now Im relieved, there is no other great feeling than being liberated from it.

I may have lost one person that I thought matched the feelings that I had, but then, I would not run after someone who just showed me what a pathetic life he has. If I went on with it, I would have been as pathetic as he is...so never mind my crying at nights, never mind the feeling of emptiness whenever a sweet memory strikes, never mind the little gestures of love I miss....for all I know, they were all part of the LIES.

Life surprises us with different packages...I got one huge package of LIES...but its okay, as long as I can give the opposite of what I received. It will not change the way I am nor the way I see LOVE...shit happens, and if it does, you just need to clean it up and wash them away...no big deal!

Well, Im on the road to recovery now...leaving one lie after the other...I am confident that before I hit the intersection, all lies are forgotten...and so the man who caused it. Once I reach the crossroads, I know the thin line of truth will be clearly visible..Have a great weekend everyone!

His mother's favorite song

Crazy I'm crazy for feelin so lonely I'm crazy Crazy for feelin so blue I knew You'd love me as long as you wanted And then someday You'd leave me for somebody new Worry Why do I let myself worry Wondrin What in the world did I do Crazy For thinkin that my love could hold you I'm crazy for tryin And crazy for cryin And I crazy for lovin you (Repeat Last Verse)