Until recently, I had a very close sidekick friend that I love. We spent a ton of time together doing all sorts of things – golf ( as in gulp! gulp! gulp!, over GSM and david cook and Jason mraz songs) job hunting, going on a trip together ( to Cebu, 2x). Jerk was one of the first people I go to when Im down and sad and was one of the first people to see the smile on my face, too. He is a lot younger than I am, just half of my age…and he is GAY!
About 2 years ago, he showed up to my office and applied for work. Since we didn’t need any additional manpower at work, I hired him to nanny my kid and my 2 nieces who were vacationing at that time. He spent the entire summer with me helping around the house. Aside from contributing much in the upkeep of m house, he became my confidante. He became an extension of my family that whatever he goes through, I get affected too. So the friendship was developed…
Unsurprisingly, over the last year, our friendship has gone through a lot. Mostly, we would brainstorm to find ways to put him to school permanently…and in those times, I have never been short in helping him out in financial matters. But eventhough we are that close, I still uphold my principles over money. If you owe me, you must pay me even if that’s a single cent only…but if I give money even if that’s 1M ( as if I can afford, figure of speech only darling!) that’s a gift I will NEVER ask back.
At first, this really upset me, and for a time I made a concerted effort to understand him. But I found that my perspective had changed a lot over the past several months – or should I say that familiarity already bred contempt on my side. It was ok for me that he borrows things from me, and that is usually the case when he sleeps over my house. But recently, I have noticed that he had borrowed lots and not returning them. Or sometimes he would get my stuff without telling me, I will just find out about it when I come looking for it. It bothered me a lot. Aside from not paying back the money he owes me ( well, he did pay me now….after I raised HELL!) he never made an effort to return my stuff when I needed them. ( again, he already returned them….and again after I raised WWIII)
The sad part was, when returned my stuff ( how about my shades jerk? And the towel? And the….should I name them all???) including the gifts I gave him as tokens of my friendship…. the bling blings I bought when I traveled and specifically bought it for him…yes, he returned them…so what should I think about it? Is it a sign of severing complete ties with me? I thought so! And that hurt me a lot! I only asked for things that he borrowed---the money and some stuff, but NEVER the gifts!!! I haven’t heard from Jerk since.
What did I realize? I used to have a friend, now HE IS GONE….and I want it to remain that way. I will not go after you, nor the friendship that you just wasted….Even more, a real friendship will survive any such change in philosophy. But when you returned those stuff I didn’t ask, I will let the friendship die and fade with it…
Im not worried about you ending the friendship because you’ve made choices to improve your life, ask yourself if the people around you now are your real friends. Ask yourself if they will come up to you the minute you need them. ASK YOURSELF, because YOU CANT ASK ME ANYMORE!
