My father died in March 1996, that's 14 years ago, yet every now and then when I dream and think of him, it feels like he is and has always been just around. Whenever I'm going through a difficult time, I alternately talk to God and to my Dad...there's always a feeling of relief after doing such...and for years now, my tears just wont stop falling everytime I miss him....My Dad was strict...he would never entertain attempts of party/night out permissions, for him, life for children should be home-school-home day in and day out...but Dad was not a bore, he was always the first one to plan on out of town trips for the family, and my, he was such a generous man in terms of preparations, he liked going to different places, meeting new people, exploring life outside our home...that's what I love about Dad, we are really more alike than I am with my mom...because we both just love LIFE!
Dad showed all his children how to mingle and interact with different people from different walks of life..He had plenty of friends..and as always, he was generous with his time and money with them. I remember, we had parties at home almost every week, My father wanted merriment in the house in the company of his friends...we grew up seeing his friends come and go...and learned social skills through that...that's the reason I value friendships so much..I am so into it, because of the example my father lived...
In my relationships with people, I try to nurture them with utmost care..I spend as much time as I can with my friends, more than I do with my family...that's quite odd for some, but that's how i live..I am more comfortable being ME in the company of my friends, i can let loose in other words...at home, Im usually the doer, the idealistic one and the strongest ( my opinion)...my Mom comes to me for advise, so my role in the family is more stiff...one responsibility that comes being a family member, i don't hate it, I am just frustrated that I cant fulfill it because i live in another island from them. With my friends, Im quite observant, quite sensitive and quite protective...I get jealous more on friends having other friends than boyfriends flirting with someone else...thats how big impact friends have on me...
I haven't been dating anyone for the last 5 years since I left my ex....i had few friends on web i got close to alright, but never formally dated anyone of them, so i suppose that doesn't count as "DATING"...in its real sense...not until I met Gabby...he is way so much younger than me...a student that is...but he is one guy who really makes me feel "I am a WOMAN"...he is every inch a gentleman, always protects me, always there to please me...and because of his age, he is also so generous with sweet words, words that still sends tingles to my spine...He isnt my ideal guy, in fact he has the opposite of all attributes i like in a MAN...but with the effort he is taking to be with me...that's more than enough to cover the "flaws" i find in him..based on my standards..we don't have the typical relationship of a man and a woman attracted to each other....we are more of a support system to each other..Gabby is in relationship with someone else..and having me in his life is just a chance he said he is willing to take risk with...and I appreciate that, though you would say Im the villain...but I am really not...I don't intend to take him away from his girl not unless he would say so...but even if that's the case, I don't really see Gabby and me in a "relationship" in the future...He just wouldn't fit in my world the way i see it now...oh well, I will just cross the bridge when I get there...for now, I enjoy having few days a month with him....whenever he is here with me or I with him, we always make the most out of it..and truthfully, I see that glow in his eyes all the time, so i know i am making him happy...
For this month of March, I live to cherish and celebrate the life lived by my Dad in commemoration of his death anniversary this 14th, for all friendships found and built, may the Lord bless it more and more, for my family who I know is just there following every step I take even without me knowing it, for my son who is finishing 3rd grade, and who has given me so much inspiration to be a better person..and for Gabby who makes me smile for now....thank you all...
I love you Dad, always and forever!
