Adventure 2011

Last February 13, 2011, birthday girl Issa Regner together with her brother passed by my house to pick me up along with Andy Summers and Kikiw Tanilon. We took the cab and proceeded to the bus terminal. By 730am, we were heading to Tanjay, an hour travel from the city. When we arrived there, we had breakfast at the public market and waited for the couple, Ann Cale and Markymark Bezars to join us to Pamplona. it rained hard so we hired a cab to bring us to Simborio. A 20minute ride with some 10minutes bumpy roads. From the main road, we headed down to the river. I was so amazed to see how wide it is with rocky bed. I told myself, "this is gonna be another helluva lot of adventure"...and I was right!!!

Here's a glimpse of my weekend escapade with friends...

The river that we crossed to reach Simborio, Pamplona - hometown of the birthday girl.


As we were preparing ourselves before crossing the river, I was about to fold my pants as high as I could.


A snapshot of me and Andy Summers ( a very close gay friend)


As we were nearing the other side of the river


We saw a snake that was washed away from the river...sounds scary!


The muddy path leading to the house of Issa Regner.


The birthday girl (in the middle wearing pink dress)with the Pariwara Club members.


Let's BOLT in!!!


Going the farther route to avoid rising water from the river. Passed this sugarcane field.


Walked barefoot as it was so slippery. Are those my feet?


Tiptoed on this old railbridge....planks are loose and no siderails to hold on to!!!


After walking past coconut laden path, muddied rice and sugarcane plantations, trekked uphill and tiptoed on the bridge, we have reached this cemented road with a structure that is good for posing...:-)

I have not posted here pics when we played poker ( I won together with Andy, beating the couple Ann and Mark)... lol..Tequila shots, videoke singing, dancing with the old ones, laughing out loud with jokes being passed around, our faces when we reached back the highway and finally onboard the bus going back to the city. The post party dinner and recap get-together ( another party actually with same cast)....you couldnt imagine how tired we were reaching our respective homes, but the smile on our faces lingered til now ...... :-)

Til next birthday...

Tainted Name, Tainted LIFE?

My realization of how my father was so loved by many came too late, only knew about it at the time of his funeral. Church congregation and its members, friends, relatives from near and afar and people who we didn't even know were there to pay their respects to the man who had a good laugh and who lived a good life...for everybody else!!!

My father was a people person, he always loved company...he initiates parties, and he loved it!. He always loved the good time, he works and then rewards himself just as how hard he worked. He was awfully generous, to a fault...but that's how he lived...always ready to help, always compassionate, always there...his presence around was very commanding....a person you wouldn't want to mess with...but as friendly as he was, he was also very hard to please...his mind worked all the time, for the good of the many. To this day, I am still and very proud of my Dad...he didn't get a college degree, but he provided well for us...he didn't get to be a public servant, but he acted like one to his friends, relatives and family. He didn't get to live long, but in our hearts his good deeds ran a million miles....that's how my father was, he lived simply but with honor. He died honorable to me, to my family and to the people who knew him...

What an irony to the controversy that the AFP Generals are involved in right now. Those men in uniform have sweated out blood and tears to reach their positions to where they are right now, yet, with these anomalies hurled upon them, the long years of schooling, recognitions are down the drain...tarnished and tainted...

The battlecry of our president now is "Kung walang corrupt, walang mahirap" meaning if there's no corruption in the government then nobody is poor. This controversy have rocked the reputation of the Armed Forces of the Philippines, supposedly the very body who could protect the citizenry from harm...but what a shame is this?! The public funds that ended up in the pockets of AFP officials and their families could have been used to enhance AFP’s capacity to fight insurgents, fund its modernization program, and improve the conditions of ordinary Filipino soldiers. Those soldiers whose lives are wasted battling terrorists, criminals and etc...worse to know that within them, the leaders are eating them away...not even a morsel to pick on...what a shame!!!

How could a man with a very high position just waste his name on the name of money? Why is having lots of money important to people who arent even in dire need of it? is this really the life we all want to live? Why is enough not enough?? These generals should be ashamed of themselves...using funds for their whims....what a shame it is!!!

Now I am wondering, what could be the children of these generals be thinking now? Well, my advise::: change your names FAST!!! Unless, you are your father's son/daughter in words and deeds, then shame on you!!!

Im just thankful my Dad is not a general, but a man who has honored his name and in turn, honored us his children!!!

Anatomy of an ADDICT....up close and personal

Every person at one point of their lives may be exposed to drug temptation or experimentation. There are people you know that may have experimented with drugs in the past but did not become addicted. However, there are some people that may have experimented with a certain drug one or two times and became addicted. You may be wondering why this is. I have always wondered why?

I had my share of "curiosity" with drugs. I smoked pot few times, had laugh trip, food trip and everything was just slow. I did the "poor man's cocaine", the first time i did it, it did defeat the alcohol effect til morning, made me talk more and more, made me sweat and lost my appetite. The next time I did it, it has no effect at all. I can stay all night without it, I can control my alcohol intake without it, and I am in born talkative, so its effects are normal for me. I did cough syrup, all it did was raise my hair on my nape...and slowed me down. I am telling this because I want to emphasize that even if I tried these forbidden and dangerous drugs, it did not gave me sensational feelings...I thought drugs could turn you to be the person you always aspire to be, so thinking I would be a SUPERWOMAN, i did it...but as Ive said, it failed me....I am still a SUPERWOMAN the way i am, in few other ways!!!

So what about other people? I know of someone who has been taking drugs since he was in high school. He is very dear to my heart and every time I talk to him, I try hard to read his mind on why is he so addicted to it when all he does is complain about its ill effects to him physically. He doesn't go to school anymore, the most untrustworthy in their family according to his mom, his friends are the people with questionable characters...most of his stories of friends are those in jail, killed or raped because of drugs....His life is sure going downhill. I tried hard to put sense in his mind, but because he is very young, I doubt if the things i said to him ever came across even an inch to his brain. I care for this man, though he never showed deeper interest in me, he has always been a good sight to behold. I love it when he could laugh at himself, I love making a day pass by that he could be drug free. I have realized I failed in doing so...He became too familiar with me that he could even tell straight to my face lies he could muster. And I realized I failed him too, I wanted to give him the care he couldn't get from anyone else, just so he would realize that LIFE is STILL BEAUTIFUL..that he could still mend his ways and start again...He did and stopped drugs for the same woman...He stopped because he fell in love with her and when she dumped him, he went back to his old ways. Maybe he is emotionally weak to stand firm on his ground, maybe he acts if motivated, so when the motivating factors ebbed, so went his will.

There are many different factors that play a role in drug addiction. Better understanding what these are can help us make more sense out of what we have seen or experienced oourselves. There are certain genes that may actually make someone more likely to use or abuse drugs as they grow. Biology is a very complex subject, each one of us react differently to a given situation. So the chemical/anatomical structure of a person could be one factor. Another factor is the person's environment. Someone that is around drugs most of their lives will be more likely to experiment. Just like parents who speaks French, will likely to have a family who will be speaking French their whole lives. If they also have the genes that make them more susceptible to drug abuse then they may be facing a large battle. Think about it, if you are watching someone use drugs on a daily basis then you may grow up thinking that it is normal and acceptable. Along with environmental factors, it could crop out from one person's LIFE experiences, it could be about stress and abuse. These factors may make someone more willing to drugs or alcohol as a way to hide from their problems. Mental illness or other emotional disorders can be found as factors for some people because the drugs are often used as a way to self medicate. This can be very hard to break, especially if their environment is full of drugs and they are not surrounded by positive support systems. This can be how the drug abuse starts. Then, it becomes an inappropriate coping skill and an addiction. And I think that's how it is for my dear friend, he uses drug to COPE with life..for his ineptness, for his loneliness, for his way to REACH OUT!! And I guess, nobody understood him any way he would want to be.

So how do you help someone who is an ADDICT? Would you cater to his ways and let him cope the way he knows how? Or would you put your foot down and be hard on him? Can you use tough love? Would an addict recognize the difference between genuine care or nor? Would he be able to appreciate and make it as his driving force? What if you cant tell if he is an addict or not? Who can make him stop? Would another woman he might fall in love with make miracles? How far would you go caring for an addict? Lastly, are ADDICTS capable of really loving? Think about that the next time that you encounter someone that is dealing with a drug addiction.

I'm still thinking until now....

CANT YOU READ MY MIND?

I wish I could talk to someone who has power to read minds of people. Sometimes I blame myself for being so transparent, my life is an open book, I tell people when Im sad, I tell them when its otherwise but why is it that I dont feel that they really have connected with me? I am one person who is instinctively honest and open; some would say that I'm too open and trusting and in this way leave myself open and vulnerable to others who are tougher than me. Other people are more guarded and watch what they say and do around others and either keep themselves to themselves or only show a selective view of themselves to others; in this way they both protect themselves and avoid conflict. But I love the way I am....only that it is beginning to be a question of is it the right thing to do or not? Am I getting insane?...or is it because they always perceived me to be the STRONG one? Or did I perceive them to fully understand my actions, yet for them its really nothing? Is this the beginning of a DRAMA queen out of me?

When life gives you too much surprises more than you can handle, sometimes, you let yourself loose and find ways to cope up. Some lose their way through drugs, insanity and losing interest in life altogether....me? I cope up with everything by spending more time with people around me. I just told a friend of mine today that I am a person who falls in love with the wrong guys because my psychiatric tendencies overwhelms my being and I tend to act as their savior which I have realized shouldn't be the case. I like digging deeper beyond the obvious, I like to delve on mystery of each person. I tend to pry out open the most sacred secrets of each one, not because I am out there to be a rat, but because I want to know a person more on her/his emotional quotient. I am just a person who takes friendships or any relationships seriously, so I observe, I analyze then I care....

And when I care, I care too much...sometimes it hurts...
I am hurting now...I really am. For realizing things I tried hard to evade...for getting the first spank of the year...my heart cries in pain for feelings ignored, for signs overlooked, for severed sweet moments, for wasted opportune to get to know a person on a deeper level...and for missing the chance to CARE!

What hurts most is knowing that the person you thought could protect you is the same person who put you in the pit in the first place. Question now is should I stop being a friend after feeling betrayed? My mind says yes, but my heart cannot deny the fact that it is giving me hesitations. I am happier when I have a high sense of self-worth and self-esteem. This means, I should do what I feel is right and even it means getting hurt along the way. I am happier when Im involved in close and meaningful relationships. Is HONESTY not a commodity anymore?

So can you read their minds? Please do!!!!

The Other Side of Negros

I have been to Bacolod City few times already, but the last trip I had was special because I went there for a good cause. My friends and I joined the Masskara Fun Run for the benefit of the Negros Forest, and as part of Mountaineering Club, I am in such a way honored to be part of this event.

I headed off to Bacolod on October 8th along with my 7 friends. Bacolod City by the way is west side of Negros, known as "The City of Smiles" and "Football Capital of the Philippines" which is a highly urbanized midsize city and the capital of Negros Occidental. It's a 6 hour drive from "The City of Gentle People". (Dumaguete City)

The run was a success, I finished a decent time of 43mins for the 5k run and my other friends did well too in their 10K run. I was amazed at the oldest runner who did a great run for his 10k and to think that he is already 72 years old. (That was such a slap on my butt :-} )....

We have maximized our time there by visiting the most awesome places there is. We did malling, visited the downtown church, tasted and savored their food specialty which is the manok inasal, raved at the nice masks being displayed in almost all establishments, snapped pictures at the RUINS then ended our trip with a spa dip at Mambukal Mountain Resort.

I did not only help the organizers of the run funds for the Negros Forest but I also had so much fun while in that city. I could go there anytime again soon and still would visit the same places I went to last weekend and maybe travel farther to places I havent been to yet 'coz I know would it give me the same sweet experiences...

I will leave you with these pictures and I'm sure you will agree with me....

Just sad

I am soooo sad...geez...:-(

Are your friends really your FRIENDS?

According to iloveIndia.com FRIENDSHIP has different definitions for different people. For some, it is the trust in an individual that he / she won't hurt you. For others, it is unconditional love. There are some who feel that friendship is companionship. People form definitions based on the kind of experiences they have had.

My definition of FRIENDSHIP is a relationship that entails trust, responsibility, compatibility and comfort that goes beyond LOVE. I easily get hurt when my "supposedly" called friends do not honor the friendship that we have. I would rather have one friend who is a true friend than have lots of them but none of them care...

For most of my failed friendships, money has always been the issue. Second is distance and incompatibility follows as third. Let me share with you reasons why I ditch "friends".

1. I have a friend of 7 years, I am the godmother of his son. Whenever I go to Manila, I always make an effort to see him and so with other friends. One time, he borrowed a thousand pesos from me just when I was about to ride an elevator leading to my hotel room after a night out with him and some friends. I readily doled out the amount with an agreement that he will pay it on his next payday. Payday came, then another one then another one. His first alibi was he used said amount to pay for the immunization of his kid, next alibi was he was low on cash, after that, never heard from him. I reminded him of his debt but whenever he or I sets date for payment, nothing is heard of him...then 3 months later I got tired. Yeah, it maybe just a few hundreds, what hurts me is that this person doesnt even honor a word he says thereby hurting me in the process. My principle with money is if you owe me, however small the amount is, you HAVE to pay me because the only reason I gave it to you, is because you ASKED! It helped you in some way, the least you could do is PAY it!

2. Next ditched friend is the girlfriend of my friend who promised to pay me as soon as we get back home the goods she bought which we swiped on my card while on another town . Weeks passed and payment has not been completed. When I asked for the cash she owed me ( aside from the use of card, she borrowed cash on that trip)just when I was about to go on another trip, alibis came one after the other. Not even an apology was given, and my trip was botched because of cash shortage.

Those are just examples of conflicts resulting to failure of friendships, there are also friends who are just there when they have a need from you, otherwise you wont even hear from them. Some friendships with real people wane because of distance. I have lots of friendships that waned because of this, and I dont blame them. When you are apart, tendency is you meet other people, depend on the new ones and grow apart..this are friendships that will just last in your memory...but hard to nurture anymore. Friends come and go, but to truly have real friendship depends on the both of you, if one dishonors the meaning of it, then its not real friendship anymore. So tell me who your friends are and I will tell you if they are real or not...