Monday, April 18, 2011

Letters: My letter to my friend Issa



EMO date, 2011

My dearest MADAM vanISSA,

I have so many things I want to tell you but I don’t think I have enough space here….so for now I will just tell you things that are pressing for the moment. I know you are going through rough times…and I know it’s the same thing all over again…and you may sometimes doubt your capacity as a person, so here’s what I want you to affirm in your life:

1. You are beautiful, young, sexy and exotic. Any guy would like to know you better if you just open a door for them to enter your life.
2. You should be respected, pampered and cared for even just for the sole reason that you are a human being and have rights.....dont ever think that you don’t deserve it because you do!
3. If you are constantly unhappy about something then maybe its time to let go of it. It may hurt much, but that pain will go away when it is replaced by self-esteem that you have lost along the way.
4. Don’t ever feel SELF-PITY. You owe it to yourself to be happy, happiness is a choice…so if you are in misery that’s because you chose that….so don’t punish yourself by thinking you are worth for nothing because you have endured so much and to regret about everything is like digging yourself a hole.
5. Feel your age, live young and live freely….my friend, you are still very young and have so much ahead of you…live the way you should and not the way other people tell you to..
6. Always do the right thing even if it’s the hardest thing to do…..however painful to go through one thing, sleeping peacefully at night rewards it fully. My friend, I don’t want to see you cry over a guy who does nothing but insults and disrespects you, you owe it to yourself to stop that emotional abuse….please consider that thought.
7. Continue your studies and finish it…that’s the only weapon you can arm yourself from the harsh realities of life. If money is the reason they can insult you then arm yourself with same. You can use that to improve yourself and be better than them.
8. Do not get swallowed by the glitz and glamour of the other side of the fence. Material things are temporary, but emotional distress will build up and will damage you for the rest of your life.
9. Stay close to your family. I salute you for always considering their needs first before yours, that’s so noble…so keep them close at all times.
10. I want you to know that I care for you…I told you time and again that I treat you as my younger sister and that I will constantly give you an eyeful and I will keep it that way til I can see that you are ready to spread your wings and fly high. Take very good care of yourself my friend..

Love lots,

Jubang

Friday, April 15, 2011

Letters from the heart

Friendship is a blessing, and a friend is the channel through whom great emotional, spiritual, and sometimes even physical blessings flow. Friends can cheer us when we’re sorrowful or depressed. Friends can challenge us when we allow ourselves to get beyond our reasonable boundaries. Friends can motivate us when we’re ready to give in, and they can provide for us when life falls apart. They are there when all is well, and we want someone with whom to share life’s pleasant and memorable moments. We often just want them around to have a good time, to laugh, to act silly, to enjoy some mutually liked activity. In how many ways have friends enriched our lives and made us feel loved, accepted, respected and cared for? Probably, too many to list, and the list grows daily.

EMO date 2011

To my ONE and ONLY APANGS,



Let me start by saying I feel so BLESSED having you in my life, having you so close is too much blessings already, and I thank GOD everyday for that. If someone asks me how to describe you as a person and as a friend, these are the things I would say:
1. You are a beautiful woman in and out. Your heart is as big as your apangs hehehe…not just literally but figuratively…and truly, you are such a good friend..
2. You are so humble. You have done great lengths of pleasing me, yet you have done nothing to make me feel like I owe you that much…that’s humility…and I salute you for that.
3. You are so crazy…just like me….your sense of humor is beyond laughable….you are amazingly funny with your gumption and all….hehehe
4. You are so caring…I still remember the time I was sick and you took time to nurse me, care for me and crying with me…I truly appreciate that from the bottom of my gums…:-0
5. You are so noble for having endured the long hours to work your ass out for your family and loved ones. I may sometimes contradict your decisions when it comes to them, but deep inside I applaud you for having that bravery to face all their troubles.
6. You are one wonderful package in disguise. You may be a small person, but your heart is as big as well…your apangs again…hehehe….seriously, I couldn’t understand how you could care for so many people and be generous with your time and energy for them all….Im lucky Im one of those you spend your time with…thank you.
7. You are so selfless. You give so much of yourself to anyone who needs you and sometimes it becomes a liability…but don’t stop being one…a selfless person has greater rewards in heaven..I know that for a fact.
8. You are so responsible. You took upon you to take care of your family even if you yourself needed tending….but hey, even if it’s a good and heroic gesture, I want to tell you that its not an obligation…so don’t feel guilty when you cant give what they are asking…sometimes, we have to learn to say no…
9. You are an unbelievable friend. The effort you have exerted just to be with me and to our other friends just proved how much you value friendship…and again I want to thank you for that, this time from the bottom of my ingrown…hehehe
10. Lastly, you are my sweetest friend and one of the most special persons in my life. I couldn’t bear losing you. So please promise me you will stay forever in my life….because if you let me I can be your good friend…I love you my dearest apangs….Im saying these things from the bottom of my HEART!!

Love u lots,


Jubang

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Correspondence: Email letters

I am sharing my email to a friend who just came by to visit me last weekend..and her reply to that email, I am so blessed to have good friends!!!

-----Original Message-----
From: Juvy Manalastas [mailto:juvym@asianlife.com.ph]
Sent: Wednesday, April 13, 2011 4:24 PM
To: eunicel@asianlife.com.ph
Subject: Goodbye and see you soon
Hello girl, sorry wasn’t able to reply to your messages anymore…I ran out of load… 

Anyway, I want to thank you for making time for me and my friends…or shall I say your CUZNS!!! I had a good talk-time with you and though we don’t hang out much when Im there I know that I got a special place in your heart. So please know that you have a friend in me too!!

I suck at goodbyes too, that’s why I don’t really kiss or hug when going separate ways…it makes me equally sad…  But that’s life, let’s just take each day apart as another day nearer to when we see each other again…

I hope you had a grand time here girl. I hope it gave you another perspective on how family is…its structure, composure and importance. Im happy that you are bridging the gap between you and your siblings….thats a lot of effort to do and I salute you for that… hoping you could visit more…maybe bring along our friends…..that would be so much more exciting… 

Take care always and again, thanks so much…mwah!!!

JUVY N. MANALASTAS
BSA - Dumaguete Branch
139 Real St., Dumaguete City
(035) 2261998/4220786
VOIP: 723

________________



Her reply:

RE: Goodbye and see you soon
Eunice Llaguno [eunicel@asianlife.com.ph]
Sent: Thu 4/14/2011 9:33 AM
To : juvym@asianlife.com.ph


Girl okay lang kahit this morning ko na to nabasa... at least makakapag-emote and medyo mahaba ang reply :)

Thank you Bang for spending your time with me. Oist...BONGACIOUS ang stay ko dyan. As in!!!! Ina-nnounce ko na sya dito. Though di ko muna sinabi na ikaw ang sponsor sa hotel unless okay lang sa yo na sabihin ko yun.

I enjoyed being with my CUZIN(S). Kung hindi lang parang drained ang powers ko nung last night ko, kahit 'til dawn sana. Kasi enjoy pa... Siguro dahil sa "activity" namin nung afternoon kaya walang natirang energy nung sa Hayahay... Hehehe...

Sayang din yung meeting namin ni Andy... may sanib na ko. Bad Trip!!! kaya madami pa ko na babalikan diyan....

Kaya for now, "let’s just take each day apart as another day nearer to when we see each other again…" Na-sad ako when I went out of the office yesterday. Kaya nga buti na lang madalian yung alis para hindi ramdam. Pero nung nasa airport na, ang bigat na naman sa loob. Told you, napag-usapan ka namin ni Daddy Jords... Nalulungkot siya na you are alone and you are not eating the right food.... Oy this is not to discourage you ha? Kasi madaming single na masaya and positive sa buhay and you are one of those. Nasasabi nya yun kasi kay Daddy Jords family ang nakakapagpasaya. Nasabi pa niya na buti na lang daw supported si Zak nila Philip pare hindi ka na masyado stressed sa bagay na yan. Baka pwede pa naman daw kayo ni Philip. Sabi ko, mukhang di uubra yun. Alam mo ba na sabi ba naman hanapan kita? E wala nung qualifications na gusto mo yung di nag-iiwan ng shorts kung saan saan... walang topak... hihihi!!! Pero kelangan mo daw talaga ng someone to take care of you... Yung complement mo... hehe... hopeless romantic talaga asawa ko. Hahaha!!!

Ay naku Bang! talagang we will have more good times pa... diyan sa Dumaguete and kahit dito sa Manila. And "though we don’t hang out much when Im there" basta may chance and magmeet ang schedule, AT INIWAN ka ng lahat, tayo ang gigimik! I like good "talks".... Kahit anu-ano lang... di kelangan mag-isip ng sasabihin yung comfortable ka magkwento na hindi ka huhusgahan.... At yun yung isa sa na-eenjoy ko sa yo....

You are one of those few na may ganiyang level sa buhay ko. Kaya ngayon, na alam mo na, na you've "got a special place in (my)your heart.", I am letting you "know that you have a friend in me too!!" At di na kelangan i-memorize pa... Ibang level naman kasi ang friendship natin e. Hindi kelangan lagi ang usap para i-validate ba na "o kaibigan pa rin ba tayo? o may nagbago ba sa atin? o baka may iba ka ng friend kaya echa pwera na ko...". Ang view ko sa friendship natin is the type that you keep. And that special place that our friendship has in our lives, will always be reserved for that friendship alone na walang pwedeng makapalit.

Enjoy the rest of the day... Matagal ako mag-compose madami palapit lapit... May nagkukwentuhan... Etc... Finally, I've come to my "dead-end"... Take care din Girl and Thank you ulit...

Love you po...

NICE


Loving the nights with my son...2

Yesterday Zach wrote his father a letter saying:
"Pa, I went to Mama's house. Call me if you have plans to go out tonight or tomorrow. Love, Zach".

Zach upon hearing that I had yummy food for dinner hurriedly wrote that letter and came to my house. Another night well spent with my son...he gave me a nice massage, cleaned my ears, plucked my eyebrows, and brushed my hair and for a little boy whose interest for the moment is interactive internet games he did all these without complaints and still managed to watch tv with me...who could ask for more?

Friday, April 8, 2011

Loving the nights with my son

Since the start of summer vacation, my son Zach stays more days with his father than with me. The few nights that he slept with me were sweet and precious..here's why...

The other night, Zach came to my office after a game in the internet cafe with his cousins. I readily asked my messenger to buy some groceries as my son has different taste buds than mine...where I can live with crackers, he would prefer bread; I would be satisfied with milk, he wanted rice and viand with it...thats how different we are when in comes to food, but we share same gusto for bacons, hotdogs and instant pancit canton. That night was not the usual night because a friend of mine invited me out to dinner. Zach suggested that we eat at KRI, a restaurant whose chef is the same chef of LIKHA...a famous vodka & tapa bar at a local beach resort. Since I havent been to this place yet we took Zach's suggestion. Zach ordered the grilled pulled out pork sandwich, my friend had the General Tso's chicken while I had the Fish of the week. My food was fish rolled and fried with an interesting dip to it...very yummy. Zach enjoyed every bite of his sandwich....lingering on some spiral fries on the side. T'was such a nice way to start our evening. Zach behaved really well.(hmmm, except for pestering my friend to lend him her iphone from time to time).

My friend and I dropped Zach to his fave net cafe while we proceeded to our hang out place and chit chatted over few beers...then it was time to go home. I was a bit apprehensive coz it was quite early yet (9pm), I was thinking Zach would compete with me on what tv show to watch since my pc at home is busted. I thought of just reading but I remembered I got no books left to read...so was praying Zach would still behave the way he did while we had dinner....

As soon as we arrived home, I told Zach I will watch a soap then a rerun of Bachelor 14...Zach didnt object nor cut a deal with me...inside I was rejoicing. There was a 50minute gap between the soap and the next show so I told Zach he could watch then. Zach was more pre occupied in tickling me and wrapping himself with the blanket...then we played a game. We took turns in hiding under the blanket and the one outside would kiss the one inside on the lips. It must be right on target or else you dont earn a point. Zach and I had a great time turning and tossing while the other one figures out what position the other one was on through the voice. We laughed hard everytime we'd find out where our kisses landed...then we played another game, the spot-the-change-in-my-position-game. One would stay still on the bed...the other one tries to memorize your still position very well, then change one bit at a time and the observer will guess what part of you moved or changed position..this was fun as even the pinky finger moving should be so subtly done...and we laughed hard again!!!

Zach has been with me for 2 nights now and we played same games...as expected it gave us a hearty laugh...as I would sleep ahead of Zach, I would wake up at dawn seeing him embracing me while he is still watching tv...then with the same tone as the first night I would tell him to shut it off and go to sleep which he obeyed without argument. And we would hug each other again til we both go to dreamland...

Breakfasts now with him is quite relaxed than when he had classes. He is not grouchy and not in a hurry...so it gave me time to sleep few minutes more and cook food that we both like. This morning we had eggs, pancit canton and rice. Zach ate a lot and saying afterwards that he doesnt think he'd have lunch anymore...with a smile on his face. Looking at him while saying sorry for dilly dallying, I see myself in my son...his love for life is overflowing that Im sure he would go places when he is all grown up, he is smart, he is talkative, he would talk to anyone, plays with anyone even older than his age, I sometimes wonder what the future holds for him?...and I aint excited to see him that way yet, as I am still savoring every moment of his childhood...and these bonding moments with him is clearly non-negotiable! Priceless indeed!!

Monday, March 21, 2011

If you can't get EVEN, just be NICE!

Why do people get revenge when being wronged? Is it that hard to forgive and forget? Why is the emotion of a human being so unstable? Why does each one react differently to a given situation? Why does "regret" comes later?

I have initiated among my friends the act of giving each one a "feel-good" letter. I have given letters to few of my closest friends and it felt good knowing I was able to pinpoint their strengths. Having given them assurance that they have something good in their hearts made them happy, and that was my intention. I have my demons too, yet I have tried hard to be there to these people when they needed me most and I reiterated that on the letters I wrote to them, eventhough some of these people or most of them done me wrong (some just even recently), i just had to look the better side of their character....and there was only one conclusion in mind, I did forgive and moved on....

I treasure my friends so much...I have always been around them and I couldnt even imagine myself letting anyone of them disappear from my life...but there comes a time in your life that you get hurt so much that you just want to alienate yourself because you cant endure the pain anymore...but not necessarily getting revenge just to make them feel the hurt that they have inflicted on you in the first place. I dont believe in the word "revenge"..it is too hateful and too heavy in the heart...what I do is just stay away....until such time I go numb and that person does not affect me anymore...but the process is quite exhilarating, as I am also wishing to understand the person while nursing the pain..

A friend once told me that he cant let anyone cross him...and if someone does, he will make sure the pain inflicted will be more than what he received. I shot back by saying that it shouldnt be the way it is...he should be more forgiving and instead try to understand where the person is coming from...but his mind is closed on that one...that time while talking to him, I had this terrible feeling that this man is quite lost...and seriously, I was really scared....Scared because I realized then that this person has so much hatred in his system, and scared that he has a very shallow definition of having "friends" or relationships for that matter. It got me to thinking, how far could you go for a friend? How patient should you be and how forgiving should one become? Are friends your friends just for the good times? Cant anyone be accepted at his worst? So if you get revenge, dont you regret hurting that person by just doing the act? What is the right definition of a friendship then? Will the relationship be still the same? How do you categorize your friends? Are there friends just for company? Are friends seasonal, really? Seriously?

What am I to my friends? How do they see me as a person and as a friend? Did I pass their standards to deserve the title and be called a "TRUE" friend? Should I really care what they say, does it really matter?

I dont know the answers to these questions, but what I know is I dont call anyone a friend unless they know me, my life, my thoughts....because for me, what is the use of having so many friends but not anyone even know you inside? I want my so-called friends to be a witness of my LIFE and celebrate it with me...if they dont know who "JUBANG" really is, then they are just acquiantances...and yes, I dont get revenge...I just try to be NICE..thats how I am as "FRIEND"!!!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Identifying a Pathological Liar - (Reposted from Answers.com)

Pathological liars - or "mythomaniacs" - may be suffering from histrionic personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder. The following comments basically reflect a pathological liar who has the characteristics of histrionic personality disorder.


Some characteristics

1. Exaggerates things that are ridiculous.
2. One-upping. Whatever you do, this person can do it better. You will never top them in their own mind, because they have a concerted need to be better than everyone else. This also applies to being right. If you try to confront an individual like this, no matter how lovingly and well-intentioned you might be - this will probably not be effective. It's threatening their fantasy of themselves, so they would rather argue with you and bring out the sharp knives than admit that there's anything wrong with them.
3. They "construct" a reality around themselves. They don't value the truth, especially if they don't see it as hurting anyone. If you call them on a lie and they are backed into a corner, they will act very defensively and say ugly things (most likely but depends on personality), but they may eventually start to act like, "Well, what's the difference? You're making a big deal out of nothing!" (again, to refocus the conversation to your wrongdoing instead of theirs).
4. Because these people don't value honesty, a lot of times they will not value loyalty. So watch what you tell them. They will not only tell others, but they will embellish to make you look worse. Their loyalty is fleeting, and because they are insecure people, they will find solace in confiding to whomever is in their favor at the moment.
5. They may be somewhat of a hypochondriac. This can come in especially useful when caught in a lie, for example, they can claim that they have been sick, or that there's some mysteriously "illness" that has them all stressed out. It's another excuse tool for their behavior.
6. Obviously, they will contradict what they say. This will become very clear over time. They usually aren't smart enough to keep track of so many lies (who would be?).


Another WikiAnswers contributor adds:

•They lie about even the smallest things. For example, saying "I brushed my teeth today," when they didn't.
•They add exaggerations to every sentence.
•They change their story all the time.
•They act very defensively when you question their statements.
•They believe what they say is true, when everyone else knows it isn't.


An alternate 'checklist':
•Lies when it is very easy to tell the truth.
•Lies to get sympathy, to look better, to save their butt, etc.
•Fools people at first but once they get to know him, no one believes anything they ever say.
•May have a personality disorder.
•Extremely manipulative.
•Has been caught in lies repeatedly.
•Never fesses up to the lies.
•Is a legend in their own mind.


More opinions and input from WikiAnswers contributors:

•I have found a few differences in pathological liar and a "slime ball" liar. Pathological liars cannot tell that they are lying; they actually believe the lie as soon as it comes out of their mouth. They lie about unimportant things that don't really matter to anyone. This can be caused by mental defect but isn't always. Slime-ball liars lie about things that make them look better or embellish to get attention. They also lie to keep their butts out of trouble and to get what they want.
•Here are things to ask yourself: How could this many things happen to one person? Would believe these stories if someone else told you? Think back to the beginning: you had red flags and alarms going off in you head. Learn to trust your instincts.
•It is very hard to tell when one is a pathological liar. Some people just are liars and lie to lie because they can and they don't care about getting caught and aware that you know they have lied. These people care not about lying, it's no big deal. It's like "ok, so what? I lied". The pathological liar on the other hand, IS aware that they are lying BUT will go to extremes to make you believe that they are truthful. They appear to believe their own lies BUT in truth, they know their lies are just that, lies. But because their efforts are constantly backing up their lies, it appears to us that they actually believe their lies, when we eventually do find out about them and then we tend to feel sorry for these people. Then they have an excuse, "I am sick, I don't know why I lie, I believed what I was saying etc." The only truth was the fact that they don't know why they lie. Other than that it's crap. It is true that most of them have an extremely low sense of self worth and are continuously trying to make themselves feel better about THEMSELVES and this is one reason they lie. It is about them but the lies are not always set up with the purpose to hurt some one else; it's that these people feel so low about themselves they need to create ANYTHING different from the ugly reality they feel about themselves so they lie about even the most tiniest little thing. The people closest to them get sucked into these lies which sometimes start as something very trivial and then turn into something that can turn everyone involved worlds upside down and inside out.
•Unmasking the pathological liar is an easier task when the pathological liar is no more than a casual acquaintence to the "un-masker." Close relationships provide camouflage for the pathological liar, and intimacy provides a heavily-fortressed breeding ground.
•Other indicators: 1) Rage attacks after they realize you're questioning their lies. 2) Distraction techniques, e.g. hanging up the phone when you catch them in lie, playing word games, or even just running out of the room. After using the distraction technique, or rage attack, or sometimes both, they will pretend that nothing ever happened. They re-write history, so it never did happen in their minds. Normal people do it too, but these people take it to the extreme.
•From "Go Ask Alice": Lies are unplanned and impulsive. Behavior is repeated over a long period of time. Lies don't seem to exist for any external reason. Behavior may not always be a conscious act. Lies are admitted, changed, and/or adapted if a false story is challenged.
•From Andrea Broadbent "The Truth about Truman": To begin, the definition of pathological actually means abnormal or grossly atypical. Therefore, a pathological liar prevaricates more frequently than the average person or tells more abnormal lies. In most cases, pathological liars tell lies that are "unplanned and impulsive" (Hausman). These lies are usually very emotional stories that tend to serve no purpose except to impress people (Ford 133). As of now, psychiatrists are unsure whether or not pathological liars are fully capable of realizing if and when they are lying, so detecting whether or not a person is a pathological liar is a very difficult task (Hausman). By looking at the list of conditions commonly connected with people considered to be pathological liars, psychiatrists are better able to determine whether or not a person might actually have the disorder. Some main qualities linked with pathological liars include dysfunctional family origin, family lying patterns, anomalies of sexual life, frequent substance abuse, and a great capacity for language.
•From Raymond Lloyd Richmond, Ph.D. "Psychological Honesty": Even a pathological liar carries deep in his heart a desire for goodness and honesty and yet, because of painful emotional wounds, believes that the world never has, and never will, recognize his pain. And so, to hide that pain from himself, he uses all the lies he can concoct to hurl at the world as he runs in fear from his own goodness.


•For me, the first indication has been that I hear them tell different things to different people and they can't all be right, because they directly contradict each other! And I am able to prove it. If you can prove over and over again that things someone is telling you are outright false, then you have a pathological liar on your hands.

With the Internet, it is now easier than ever to "fact-check" even the most mundane things. I think pathological liars often lose track of the lies they tell different people and it will eventually catch up with them.


Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_can_you_tell_if_someone_is_a_pathological_liar#ixzz1EwgEFdXO